I’m trying to figure out what I want vs. what I need. And thinking of two lists, what I want NOW and what I want MOST. I read recently that discipline is bypassing what you want immediately in favor of working on what you want most - the long term goal. I just need to develop some long term goals. Sometimes I sit and think about how I have everything I need and everything I could even want. I don’t care about cool shoes or new clothes, I don’t even really want any material things at all. I’m not saying this in any proud way - it is kind of flabbergasting. I’ve grown kind of apathetic about material things. Shouldn’t enlightenment be right around the corner? It’s weird to not want anything. I mean, I’d like to maybe be at the beach or go on a fun travel adventure, but I’m also pretty content hanging out at my house. I could be drifting towards apathy instead of satisfaction, is what I’m saying. So I need to do some work around identifying what I value most these days and how I can live by and demonstrate those values.

@Valley Jane it’s definitely given me some ideas!

I’d love a daily prompt, or even one a week… something to get me going.

I hope to join Friday! I have to work Tuesday through Thursday but looking forward to joining whatever sessions I am able to. Thanks for scheduling these. Today I am...grateful for peanut butter and grape jam on an english muffin. Gratitude is welcome in any nook and cranny. Additionally, I'm a little scattered today but seeking groundedness through some watercolor adventures and taking care of my house. It helps to think of cleaning as honoring the curation of the museum of myself. HA! Ok no it doesn't. It sucks! Who likes cleaning a toilet - what kind of exhibit is that? Dusting is kind of fun though. I need to get out more!

SHIT I'M RELEASING: the need to please, approval-seeking, burnout frustration, body dysmorphia, age-fear, self-loathing, feeling like a failure. THANKS I'M FEELING: safe home, loving partner and cat, art supplies, flowers grown from seed, friends, the coming of autumn, planned trip upcoming. WISHES I'M CREATING: developing skills, making stuff, relaxing weekend, a delicious dessert cake, maybe a bubble bath, a long healthy life for my cat, hair that behaves.

@Lauren Francis Thank you!

Eclipsing Out What comes to mind is waste. What is a waste right now? of my time, my energy, of my one wild and precious life? I see myself letting go of base desire, greed, that animal hunger that can't be fed. letting go of selfish behaviors and the mental anguish that accompanies the unfillable void of negative want. Moving beyond the obsession with basic drives. Not that I won't still feed, hydrate, and shelter myself, still stimulate the mind - i will allow in instead more growth, light, wisdom, and groundedness. Nourishment, not polloution. Compassion and collaboration come in place of misguided lust and envy. Creative energy overtakes destructive tendencies. My work is to create a comfortable refuge in the midst of a chaotic world. Finding possibility in an expanse of time, instead of dread at its finite nature. Doing this by looking at the stages of journeys as what they are, not focusing only on the endgame or fretting at an imperfect beginning. in our writers' meditation today I was aware of my body in water, clean and bright int he warm light, drawing on the support of an infinite pool of wisdom and power. Bouyed by this body that has my back. Then on to the island of myself, a good starting point to build on. Eclipsing In Light has to be coming in, there has been enough darkness for now. Opening myself to the possibility of possibility - yes, I need to train myself to see positive growth and wisdom as things that I can have. I hope to have hope for hope. I have memories of the past 50+ years, so much darkness and struggle. But there has also been goodness and love. I am learning to look at that, too. At the bounty there. It has always been my nature to examine what went wrong and what I did wrong, but what if I consider what went well? Can that stand as an example of what lies ahead? of what is possible? Maybe! Maybe there is an wide and full cornucopia busting out with the potential for good works. Good friends to be made. Good days to spend.

@Susan Buniva Thank you - the water imagery came to me so clearly I knew I had to honor it somehow. Water can of course represent the subconscious but in this instance it brought to my mind a sort of nourishing bath. Thanks for reading!