My First DMT Breakthrough · Psychedelics, Peptides and AAS

My First DMT Breakthrough

I must be doing something wrong, I had been chewing on this thought since my last attempt at entering the DMT-scape. Instead of being greeted by an Incan God or perhaps Anubis I had instead been beset by a dizzying myriad of impossible colours and shapes. Streaks of iridescent energy, music that tinkles, whines, and drones hammering at my very core, all the while colossal beings seem to crowd around me, hidden from me, their intentions their own. From what I could tell I hadn't gotten enough DMT in me to get me "there" where ever "there" may be.

From my reading I suspected I was burning the DMT on the account of my vape's coils getting too hot. The remedy I had decided was to pulse my draws, 4 seconds with the power on, 2 seconds off drawing cold air over the coil.

The day had finally come to its close, the animals in bed, dinner had and the dogs very much settled. So, collecting my vape and informing Tiff what I was set on, I made my way to the spare room and laid down on the bed.

I launched up YouTube and found a suitable meditation music video, full of low melodies. I plugged in my headphones and practised deep breath work to still my rapidly beating heart. A phenomenon I've noticed when preparing to smoke DMT is an extremely elevated heart rate, as if it's attempting to gallop away, fluttering as it did so.

Once my bpm had been slowed to a somewhat satisfactory rate I set upon my vape pen with quiet enthusiasm. Taking an initial draw I set my intention for love, compassion and joy. I carried on this way repeating the draw and hold 3 times over making sure to keep the coil cool as I did so.

With each subsequent draw the room around me slowly became immaterial, at first the hard angles of my walls waxed losing some unnameable quality for it descriptor doesn't exist in our reality. My eyes caught somewhere between open and closed I was torn from our dimension. With a final half remembered intention relating to Tiff, my reality shattered into the undulating scape of green, purple, yellow, pink and red geometries.

With a soul shattering lurch I "landed" and above me towered a vast intelligence, a form hidden to me in the crannies of my memory but with strikingly memorable tentacles. He looked down upon my prone body, annoyance radiating from him. I do not know how I knew his gender, but I knew as surely as I knew my name. In that moment, laying there, totally exposed and frozen with terror my mind unable to fully comprehend what I was experiencing. I felt his gaze bore into me, every secret corner of my being exposed, the book of my essence his to read.

His annoyance turned to a calculating curiosity, something within me had caught his attention. A mistake, a thread out of place, some part of my being out of sync with the rest.

Only seconds had passed if that has any meaning at all in that place, still attempting to gather my wits to process what was happening to me the creature formed four dazzlingly brilliant bolts of energy, gripped at the end of his tentacles. Like Zeus from his clouds in Mount Olympus he hurled one after the other across the space towards me. Each travelling almost too fast to track. I responsively tried to flinch, but I was tethered firmly in place by unknown bonds. Each bolt slammed into my torso, its energy causing a resonating thud before dissipating away painlessly.

Utterly overwhelmed, my mind stretched beyond what its physical machinery was designed to tolerate I could do nothing, my state of shock all encompassing. The being looked me over, inspecting his work, obviously satisfied he turned away from me in a manner that I can only describe as flippant, no longer interested in this small interloper and cast me from his realm.

Teleported from that place my new surroundings were all softly glowing golden ethereal draperies, their material formed of impossibly soft motes of particulates. The sound of this place I can only describe as a heavenly chorus, beautiful tones that soothed me to my core.

I became aware that I could move and attempted to sit up, as I did so I felt a multitude of beings surrounding me, their energetic presence loving, soothing and motherly. A gossamer soft touch pressed to my chest, insisting I lay still and wait. I had gone through something these beings seemed to say, I needed to rest and let them tend to me. I complied, laying there my soul being bathed in a golden light which embalmed my spirit with a calmness I thought was solely reserved for those who have left this world.

Slowly I was placed back into my reality, the texture of the bed becoming apparent beneath me, the breath in my chest, the music I had been listening to.

I was back.

I sat up and took my headphones off and looked around me, the spare room once so familiar felt off, as if every atom had been shifted one part to the right... or perhaps to the left. This, I had felt before, I just had to trust that my brain would orientate itself in time.

Making my way to our bedroom I plonked myself down on the end of the bed, watching Tiff tend to the fire, fighting to keep out the winter chill. The air was heavy, she knew I had gone through something, I hadn't spoken.

"What happened?" she asked. "Are you okay?"

The look of concern on her face triggered an inner urgency to assure her everything was okay. In perhaps the understatement of my entire life I said

"Oh, nothing much really"

"oh, okay"

We sat there in silence for a moment, both staring into the glowing embers

"Well" I ventured, "that's not quite true". I gave her a small smile, "quite a lot happened actually".

I told her what I could remember, every bizarre detail and tried in vain to find meaning in this inexplicable experience. We went back and forth for the evening before eventually making our way to bed. As we lay there, her on my chest, she started.

"Harry!"

"What?" I gasped, a little startled.

"Your heart! It's not skipping any beats!" Her voice had traces of awe.

I should now mention, years before my heart had started missing a beat, every 3-5 seconds, a skip in the song of my life. I had worn several ECG monitors from the NHS over the years and had been told it was just one of those things I'd have to live with. There wasn't anything I could do to fix it and it probably wouldn't shorten my lifespan.

That, was that.

Until this evening.

And every day since.

My heart has continued since that evening to beat normally, its rhythm without fault, beating once again in time with the background music of our universe.

I can only offer you two explanations, you can decide for yourself which one sounds more plausible, or satisfactory.

Either, the intense shock of my psychedelic experience caused a flood of catecholamines through my system, somehow triggering a systemic reset of my nervous system impacting my cardiovascular system.

Or, what I have written above truly happened and a multidimensional creature of unknowable origins bestowed an esoteric healing of my physical being.

I won't attempt to sway you by telling you what I believe, that is up for you to decide, but I can attest that everything I have written above is true, to the best of my understanding.

Thank you for reading.

Nihil Nimis - Nothing in Excess

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My First DMT Breakthrough