God has brought me a long way with controlling my temper, than how I used to be. I did more than fly off the handle unfortunately and thank God I'm not locked up or in the ground already. I think what made it so easy is because I was living without limits or any self control, therefore it was a release of everything I had bottled up. And man I guess I had a lot bottled up. Then tied with more bad choices like alcohol or drugs would cause things to spiral even more out of control. Thank God He has delivered me from that pain. That isn't my life anymore. Although I still have moments where I feel screaming on the inside, I know I have Jesus to get me through those more rare times. But I don't go looking to put myself in situations that would cause these outcome. Also I think God gave me a son to practice what Jesus has taught us. Like a practice dummy. Ya'll know I love Ben, but if you know me I'm hard on him too. But in the last 3 years since I've been saved, I've been able to show him more love, patience, and mercy. Even when my past self would've dialed up extreme consequences to Ben's challenges he's given me. Thank God I'm not that person anymore.