Hi Garin, Thanks for your message, It's interesting to read how you've created your own inner and outer scoreboard as a way to honour the value of growth I've definitely had the challenge as I believe we all do with self deception... That I make bold starts, make progress but then slip into the comfort zone when it gets scary honoring instead the value of certainty. So for me specifically typically I'm a very organised and prepared person. In this situation at the wedding, I knew this wedding was coming up for months in advance. Yet I've been going through some major mind bending shifts right now... While many things I'm not sure of... I knew one thing for sure... I didn't want to sweat the small things... I didn't want to give unimportant things more importance, to leave space for excitement. So I sorted some major things in advance But then I let go.. Me and my partner stayed up late the night before, I knew I needed to be there roughly at that time, but not precisely, I had a gift, no card, no card written by the morning day of, I had a suit, no hotel room booked, they had one available, I split the cost with my partner. One of my closest friends partners even commented, "I love how spontaneous you are". In the moment I was rushed and stressed, making decisions and I said back "I don't" while smiling and laughing at the predicament I found myself in. So me testing my power was about releasing control, and was about having one foot in chaos and one foot in order, being creative in the moment, trusting that everything will not only be alright but more exciting because it forces me to pay attention to seek out opportunities. I typically don't drink, yet I gave myself permission to drink quite alot in the end because I wanted to feel apart of the occasion, when all the grooms were grabbing cigars for photos, I didn't because that's a boundary I won't cross not even on occasions. So I challenged myself to make different decisions where there was flex, and yet held firm on things that mattered to me.