I did a letting go meditation and letting go with Aaron and let go that I’m not allowed to have fun and relax because it’s not productive that there’s too many things to do in my day to relax and do something you enjoy and have fun. I let that go. I felt into my hands because when I like to do for fun and enjoy when I’m relaxing drawing and painting that’s why I felt it in my hands , and after My hands felt very light. My body is very relaxed..

Lately the past like week I’ve had this like heavy feeling in my heart and I just don’t feel like the high energy magnetic person I’ve been for the past two months and it’s really upsetting me. I don’t know what to do. I Keep doing my meditations and it is not helping. Like three weeks ago I put out some emails to volunteer to get some experience in this class. I’m taking and nobody got back to me at all and it’s kind of bummed me out but I should be able to just take ENERGY back and say OK I’m good either way and I would have but for some reason this class is really taking a toll on me even though I love it cause it’s it’s just feel like the time it’s taking is emotionally draining me. Is it integrated?because of this challenge like is it bringing something out in me? We haven’t really done anything yet though, so I don’t see how that could be. I just wanna feel like I have been feeling the past two months like like I was high on life like it was great. I was a different person

I don’t have any pictures of me because my stepmother threw them all out, but this represents me pretty much is when I was a kid cause I get knocked down and come right back up physically anyway

I look at the window stare at my lantern or sometimes just outside and meditate

I just wrote it out… # 1 my biggest block is I guard myself I’m on watch for everything I do. I need external validation although I have no fear and I embrace the unknown. It’s kinda like my body is battling itself. The inside is moving ahead in the outside/the old won’t let me I’m going anyway. I’m gonna win this challenge within myself no more abandoning myself. I’m done. #2 it’s just the answer. I didn’t write the question I want to value it myself. I don’t wanna have to look for approval. I give myself approval already my inside ahead of my outside. #3 my inside said there is no pay off for having this block. The outside thinks it’s even keeping me safe. I don’t want safety. I want the unknown. I’m tired of playing it safe. I praise the fear and embrace the unknown. #4 wrote question for this. How can I raise my vibration and remove these blocks? Well I got some tips from my innersites the other day and from Aaron AI but that’s why I’m here help from you guys and Aaron and I still have to deal with my frustration also but I’m working on that Aaron AI gave me something for to do for that and I think it’s helping and if I stick with this for 21 days my my outside is gonna have no no choice but to join my inside #5 again I didn’t write the question but my answer was I am leaving the new me