Jusr venting, TLDR: So, in some calls and conversations I've mentioned my financial struggles and I always find a way to make it work, but I've been asking for a raise for a long time trying to find the thing that would get me there. While on leave, I spent a lot of time in therapy going over everything I've ever done since starting my employment, and I presented it to them like "hey I know you've said no, but have you considered everything else I've done?" At the inn where I started, I cross-trained myself to work housekeeping, kitchen and dining room, and run the front desk without fail. I would step in when shorthanded or when there was a football game in town. When I moved to afternoons, they installed a new reservation system and I figured out how to streamline the entire process, reduce errors, and gave people better rates. I trained management how to do their job. After COVID hit, I doubled my workload to keep things running and they promoted someone else. They split the assistant manager position into 2 parts. In the grand scheme of things, they gave someone else the title i worked for and they gave me a small title to appease me. I did everything right. I took control of everything without any of them listening to anything I said. They just wrote it off as me being upset that I didn't get what I wanted. After my time had plateued there, I transferred to the corporate office and have been the admin since. I continued supporting the inn and took on MORE while there. I offered to be available more and pick up more if it meant I got more income. And they threw it all back in my face. I'm "paid within the scope of my job" and writing off everything I did as volunteer work. I spent 10 years clawing my way through this and they just said it means nothing. I really wanted to be wrong and think that SOMETHING would have some impact, but I was right. I feel so defeated and worthless. I know that doesn't make it true, but I tried so hard and it ultimately meant nothing. My body has folded and refuses to do anything without making it a huge ordeal, and I'm so freaking tired of putting so much of myself into something and getting nothing but more struggle. I really feel like my next best thing is to just walk out or force them to fire me. I can't justify trying anymore and it is really hard for me to start over.

Month 1 / Week 4 • Know Yourself We had a real one on Wednesdays call. We talked about something most of us have lived but rarely say out loud — that we chase chemistry instead of safety. We feel that pull with someone. Everything moves fast. It feels electric. And somewhere underneath it we know something is off — but we don’t listen. Because our brain is already in it. The what ifs. The stories we tell ourselves. The hope that this one might be different. And the other person? They usually showed us exactly who they were from the very beginning. We just didn’t want to see it. We can’t blame them for that. We can only look at why we keep choosing the roller coaster over the calm. Finding the right partner deserves the same care and intention you’d give any important decision in your life. Think of it like hiring a CEO for your own company — you wouldn’t offer the job after one conversation. You’d take your time. Ask the hard questions. Make sure they’re worth it. Yet somehow with love we skip all the steps. Safety isn’t boring. Safety is the foundation everything else is built on. That’s what we talked about today. Every Monday 6PM PDT and Wednesday 11AM PDT Come as you are.

We’ll see what kind of traction that gets!

It’s the long weekend this week! Any plan? I plan to go to a state park near Vegas - Valley of Fire.

Hi all since I can't change my profile right now I want to be authentic in the chat I am William Cappola and I'm gay and proud