This is the video I’m not posting this week. I’m sharing it here with you Vizzy D’s instead. Because sometimes visibility work is also about: knowing thyself. I’ve had a barrage lately of angry DMs from funeral directors, full of accusations, assumptions and some fairly wild interpretations of what I’m doing. And honestly? It triggered me. And swung my Taurean passive-aggression into full swing… 🐂😂 Some of my anger was warranted. But after making this video, I realised I was about to do something I often encourage you guys NOT to do: Create content for the people who are annoying you. 😅 So I slept on it. I shared my frustration with some trusted peers & friends. And they helped me realign where I wanted to put my energy. Because the people I’m really here to speak to aren’t the people I’m arguing with in my head. They’re the families who need to know what kind of person I am. They’re the peers who are looking for a different way of doing things. They’re the people who might see one of my posts and think: “Oh. I think I’d like to work with her.” 🐦‍⬛ We talk about this a lot in the Social Reels Masterclass, but your social media is your shopfront window. And families, colleagues and potential collaborators are looking through that window all the time. So this week, I want you to notice: Who are you actually speaking to? And perhaps more importantly: Who have you accidentally started creating content for? The person who criticised you? The competitor who gets under your skin? The colleague who disagrees with you? The imaginary person you’re trying to prove something to? Or the people you actually want to reach? 🐦‍⬛ YOUR VISIBLE FRIDAY PROMPT Think of something you’ve posted recently, or wanted to post, and ask: Who was I really speaking to? Then ask: If the person I most want to work with walked into my shopfront window right now, would this content tell them something useful about me? And finally: What would I create if I stopped trying to prove something and started trying to connect?

Darling Vizzy D’s, Gather round friends, quick story time: I’m visiting my uncle and aunt at the moment and whilst taking a work call in the office, I spotted something on their desk. A name plate. My grandfather's. Feels like such a relic now, doesn't it? In these days of agile hot-desking and working from the kitchen table, who has a desk name plate anymore? But it was the line above his name that stopped me. ACCIDENT PREVENTION IS MY RESPONSIBILITY. He worked for Telecom Australia (which later became Telstra - a big telecommunications company). We don't actually know much about what he did there. But that little slogan got me thinking. If this was a thing that existed in our work - what would mine be? If I was sitting at a desk in the 60s with my name on a plate, what would sit above it? And what would yours be? Even if this was a corporate initiative to remind workers of their duties or priorities - what’s our version? I’d love to have asked him more about what it meant to him & how he spent his days… My Papa died in his early 60s, after a cancer that moved fast. I was 11. It was my first funeral. What I remember most about that whole time isn't actually the funeral itself. It's my Grandma. They were school sweethearts. They'd spent their whole lives together. A rare, true, deep love. And even as a kid, I watched the grief unravel her. Raw and up close. After my Papa died, she was still the grandma who showed up for everything. Our dance concerts. Our soccer games. She still hosted the big family Christmas. But she did it all choked with tears. It was clear she was loving us for both of them now. But his absence was unbearable, especially right up against the joy of their grandkids. He was missing all of it. I feel like it drowned her, in a way. She only lived a few more years. The medical certificates say she died from heart failure, but I have a vivid memory of a kind-faced doctor pulling the grandkids aside and explaining that Grandma had died of a broken heart. Whether he meant it in the medical or romantic sense I’m not sure - but it certainly planted a new truth in my young body - grief can kill you.

Hello from South Africa, I’m reflecting on a family meeting I was asked to handle for the wife and adult children of a man who spent 40 years at the same firm ending as a senior partner 10 years ago and loved playing golf. In fact he shared that he’d woken that morning in a panic that he was late for his tee off time and couldn’t find his golf shoes. He had what he called a wake up call mid last week where he went into liver failure in response to a new oral chemo therapy. Reach out if you’d like more details on the structure and flow of the meeting and what I’m pondering may have enhanced my service to the family.

If you work in death care - as a funeral celebrant, death doula, funeral director, interfaith minister or end of life carer - and you want to build your presence so the families who need you can actually find you, you're in exactly the right place. The community is free to join. With free & paid classes added all the time. And this is very much a living, growing thing - built for a global community of death workers doing things differently. Start by watching the welcome video here. Then have a look around, introduce yourself in the community feed, and let me know what you most want to learn... Welcome to The Visible Death Worker 👋 Really glad you're here. 🖤