This might sound a little crazy, to me though, increasing feeling awareness of the whole body is a much more involved issue than I originally thought. It might be a bit weird to describe, but notice how there is a particular "way" you are. The "shape" of you. Feeling of you. All that comprises the "sense" of yourself and form of your mind. Have you ever noticed, if and when, you "adhere to a different way," think differently, decide to do something different, it, well, feels different? So notice how feeling, as if, "goes where the mind is." And notice how feeling awareness is something you direct with your mind. Feel your hand. You did that. Pick up your leg, curl your toes, etc. These are mind directed thing, YET, it doesn't STOP happening just because you aren't actively THINKING about it. This feeling awareness, "ch'i" if I DARE use such terminology, is always following the mind's dictates. So how do.we "increase" this channel? To me, again, I think this begins by opening "our minds," and bodies, awareness, more, deeper. Let relaxing and opening the mind expand your awareness of your body and let go of your familiar "locks" in awareness, so that your attention will expand to the areas you DON'T usually feel, or may not be comfortable feeling or opening up to. Over time as your awareness deepens you will gradually feel the WHOLE body more, and in my opinion, as well as the opportunity to move more from the center, and your weight in the ground, as well as potential for movement and the space all around you. Even other bodies, or your awareness of other people or things or minds

Oh, also Tai chi might be good for this. There should be a Tai chi body-mind e-course available, or videos of the sets on the website if that's the kinda thing you're looking for

The first thing I'd say that I recommend between you and your partner there is to ~listen~ to her. I don't mean agree with her or anything like that. Sometimes people use stupid seeming words to describe things they experience that could be more deep than the words can elicit, especially for us, as Ralston-esque contemplators who are all about cutting through the bullshit. Get HER experience for what she is actually experiencing. Ralston even knew a psychic woman who described it as "talking with devas" but then through communication with her got what she was experiencing, so a little of that wouldn't hurt. No matter what comes up, it's still a more powerful way to relate to her than just running what she says through your own trigger words, and missing out on the type of communication. I actually had an old girlfriend I talked with recently talk to me about things using words I don't use myself, or were initially put off but, but by the end of the conversation I was impressed by her seemingly "higher than I'd given credit to her for" wisdom. As for transformation. And this is just me, so you can take it with a grain of salt if you wish. When does changing our state support genuine transformation? I feel like the distinction here to make is whether you're simply "taking on" some new thing, like "doing salsa dancing" or a new practice, "acting" a new way or ONLY pursuing a new thing, basically things, as if, something EXTERNAL to you, and or whether your actual understanding of things, genuine outlook or perception life life, self, and others, and what you're "doing" begins to change in a way that it becomes, as if, "natural to you" without having to "put it on." So, if in "changing state," we're actually challenging our consciousness to go in newer, or deeper directions, to see or become clear on new things or be free of others, I'd say in this case "changing our state" can support genuine transformation. In my humble opinion, it might become "spiritual escapism" if we're willfully ignoring real or true aspects of experience or existence. That doesn't mean conjure up or keep up negative things, or even not pursuing positive things, it just means being clear if and when that is happening and if it is.

@Willem Oudemans I think the trouble there would be getting them to see what they're doing for what's actually going on. In that case, it's probably better to ask her some interviewing type questions to get her to put her attention on the actual experiences she's having. Otherwise, and this part is just me personally, as a dude, having been through what I've been through and coming from where I come from, I doubt you can just "talk her out of it " unless she comes to some kind of conclusion on her own, which is probably what the interviewing questions are good for

I also find myself wondering in a similar vein what would life be like without "reactivity," like how it's talked about in the principles, as opposed to responsiveness

I agree. I feel after all this time I'm actually starting to BEGIN this type of contemplation. Contemplation for me used to exist ritualistically. As in, I would do a thing trying to get a result. BAM. Or another way of thinking of it, I would try to simply "get what somebody else got." That's not bad inherently, but EXPERIENTIALLY, what I was doing was LOOKING ELSEWHERE. My goal was not to become conscious "for myself." I mean it was doing it FOR me, but the investigation wasn't "mine." It was his, I was just trying to "follow somebody's lead." Now, experientially, the shift is like, if experientially, me in my life, I grasp or am clear there are some things happening or IS'ing I don't know, I look into it for myself. What's that? What's going on here? Why is this? This is hugely different that rote sitting and "contemplating," which isn't really contemplating, to me, in a sense. That's just going through motions. I wanted to make a post on this recently but I was busy, but to me, contemplation should always BE going for it now. And usually, raw, this seems pretty immediate or direct. What happens, really, when we go "elsewhere?"

Not that sitting and going for it is bad AT ALL. But only going through the motions could be a trap