This is a response to a Reddit post concerning family accusation that’s tearing into a teenage young man to the bone and causing immense distress. Finally, it has been said plainly in my own words! I kept asking how long and seeking and searching and found SO MUCH! And finally the core, the key, the whole thing! The normal person’s little key to complete liberation was never said so plainly by me until the last paragraph so I’ll paste it here too so no one who reads this misses it. The rest of the post has great advice too so don’t forget to keep reading! Wishing you the best, friend! You got this! Key here is - this world we live in has super bandwidth capped and fearful cultures because we are young and think we are old. We lack wisdom and where there is a lack of wise rule, fear takes over and instead of that being signal for growth in a wisdom culture it becomes signal for terror in cultures that lack wisdom. At the very least, your mother has a fear/terror disease clouding her judgment and care of herself and family. It’s far too common in this day and age and the only cure is selfishness that’s sloppy, embarrassing, and the kind that can be 100% wrong and still be honest. That’s how we grow through a culture lacking wisdom that has a lot of fear but such cultures require a strong image to feel safe so it’s pretty tricky to navigate without feeling even more fear! Given that, your own inner light that’s your very own sense of “I can and will figure this out because life isn’t pure crap”….thats your key. If you don’t hide that light out of fear and keep leaning into that, even sloppily, even messing up 1000 times, I’d say you’re a fully enlightened seedling sprouting roots and even breaking through the soil, my friend. Welcome to life, brother, there is much work ahead for us and we’re glad you’re here :). Here’s how the original post began :). Lots of good advice for everyone here. Ok, so, I know this sucks, I have my own version of this in my family on a LOT of matters and it’s ALWAYS disturbing and frustrating down to the bone. I’ve gotten to a point where I realized emotional sharing and reflective listening are SUPER important, even if I have to repeat the words WHILE they talk so they can see if they’re projecting or if what they say lands. Be close if you do that one so the reactions on your face and, let’s say you’re mom’s for instance, can be clearly seen. THAT is almost like magic because when I was SO upset no one would listen to ANYTHING from my end and only make WILD accusations against me, it hit ME to the bone in reverse that they were just projecting. It made me feel waaaay better and, in this instance it was my wife who had an insanely wild and detailed made up story she was 100% convinced of that was 100% projection, she also could feel and see where what landed on me, what was actually her projecting, and where we actually agreed.

So glad you're here. This is a space for imagining, designing, and actually building the kind of futures we want to live in, together. Tell us a little about yourself in the comments: where in the world are you joining from? Share a photo too, maybe your balcony garden, a sketch you made, your workspace, a plant you love, anything that already feels a little solarpunk to you. And we'd love to know what brought you here and what you're hoping to build, imagine, or learn. Whatever you bring is enough, finished or not. Half formed ideas and "I'm not sure where to start" are just as welcome as a finished project. Can't wait to see where everyone's joining from 🌻

How did it go... I apologize, I totally forgot about it. If you send out DM when you go live, that might help me as well as others. Catch you on the next one.

I just officially published my FIRST children’s gardening book on Amazon! https://link.amazon/B04H37V0d It is a sweet children’s story that follows Lila as she plants a green bean seed for her dad and learns that even when she can’t see anything happening above the soil, there’s a whole lot going on underneath it. It’s a gentle story about gardening, nature, patience, and learning to give things what they need to grow. Perfect for young readers ages 4–8 who love exploring the outdoors and asking lots of questions. Thought I would share in case you have children or grandchildren you would like to introduce to nature and the world of gardening.

I keep coming back to that thought because the more I observe living systems, the more I see waste as evidence of a broken relationship. Nature continually cycles resources. A fallen leaf becomes soil cover and eventually organic matter. A dead root feeds organisms underground. Manure becomes fertility. Dead wood continues supporting life long after the tree has fallen. What leaves one part of a healthy system usually becomes useful somewhere else. Humans often interrupt those relationships because we think we have found a better or faster way. We can see it in beekeeping when constant checking becomes more disturbance than observation. We can see it in agriculture when nutrients are continually removed and biological relationships are simplified, only to be replaced with outside fertility and pest control. We can see it at home when food scraps that could feed chickens, worms, compost, or soil biology are hauled away and buried in a landfill. The problem is larger than garbage. When we remove something from a living cycle without asking where it belongs next, we may be breaking another relationship. Then we often spend more money, energy, and resources trying to replace the function we removed. I am not suggesting that we should never intervene. Bees need responsible management. Gardens require work. Crops remove nutrients that sometimes need to be replaced. My thought is simply that observation should come before intervention. Before I remove something, add something, spray something, or haul something away, I want to ask: What relationship am I interrupting, and where could this resource belong next? Healthy systems depend on relationships, and unnecessary waste often tells us that one of those relationships has been broken. That is why I believe that waste is the enemy of Nature.