This is something so many sisters quietly worry about, especially reverts or those without a Muslim father or close male relatives. Some think it means they can't get married. Others move forward without a wali because they don't know what else to do. But according to the majority of scholars, a wali isn't just a formality.. it's a requirement for a valid nikah. The good news is that not having a father, brother, or paternal male relative doesn't automatically stop a marriage from happening. In many situations, the responsibility can be transferred to a qualified imam or the director of a recognized Islamic center who can act as the wali. The important part is this: This isn't something a sister should decide on her own. Every situation is different, and taking the time to ask a qualified imam protects the validity of the marriage from the very beginning. 🤍 Have you ever heard of this before? Or do you think many sisters aren't aware that there is a solution when they don't have a wali? Let's discuss below.

I was thinking about this narration about an interaction that Umar RA had regarding someone who actually knows the other. It is pasted below for reference: Kharashah ibn al-Hurr reported: A man gave his testimony to Umar ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him. Umar said to him, “I do not know you and it will not harm you that I do not know. Bring someone who knows you.” A man from his people said, “I know him.” Umar said, “What do you know about him?” The man said, “His justice and virtue.” Umar said, “Is he your closest neighbor, such that you know him by his coming and going by day and night?” The man said no. Umar said, “Then, have you had business dealings with him, by which you are shown his piety?” The man said no. Umar said, “Then, have you travelled with him on a journey, by which you are shown his good character?” The man said no. Umar said, “You do not know him.” Umar turned to the witness and said, “Bring me someone who knows you.” Source: al-Sunan al-Kubrá 19769 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani https://www.abuaminaelias.com/dailyhadithonline/2014/01/13/umar-how-do-you-know/ I do not want this to be taken out of context in any way; I think there are some interesting points that can be understood from this. The man he is talking to says he knows someone for "His justice and virtue." Umar RA then questions him about how he claims to know this. Umar RA points out some situations where someone can say they actually know another person: 1. "Is he your closest neighbour?" - A neighbour - Islam places high emphasis on dealing well with our neighbours; not only should their testimony about us be good, but they have seen us on ordinary days, day in and day out and have either felt our presence or absence. 2.Umar RA then asks "Then have you had business dealings with him..." and makes the correlation to piety. - Business dealings - honesty and trustworthiness, but also patience... how is he when dealing with transactions that may not be favourable, etiquette and more

I had the blood running in me to tell my parents about a potential spouse I met on an app. We exchanged questions about 3-4 days and I managed to pull him out of the app. In summary I asked what I needed and requested that if we want to know each other more it would be under the roof of my father. I managed to get him out of the chat and he is asking to see my father and me in the next weeks. The man made statements, that seemed trustworthy, indicating he strictly practices, stands in a well raised family and wants to be the provider of me and my kids. I feared the idea of remarriage but said I should give him a shot. I feared my parents reaction whom subhanAllah were open minded to it but there is a fish line stuck in our throats. 1) the man is of a different arab nation than ours. 2) my family fear that my ex ( who is a deadbeat dad that has not sent child support or utilized visitation or called the kids in 2 years and is unfortunately far from Allah) will force them back to him as they say he has all the right not allowing the girls live with a stranger. The man is a pediatrician which allowed my heart to rest. And his willingness to provide for the kids was reassuring as of now. My parents tore me apart having to think that I have to chose between remarrying or my kids.

I feel like it’s safe to say that at this point, we’ve all made du’a for marriage and a lot of us might be feeling that Al-Mujeeb hasn’t answered our du’a yet. But I was just reflecting on that name with a group of sisters and realized that there’s so many times that I was making du’a and felt like it was not getting answered and then I now look back and realize that what I have today are answers to du’as I made a while back, years ago even. With that being said, I have a friend that got married in her mid-30s who I ask her for advice on staying patient while waiting for my marriage du’a to be answered. She said that now that she looks back, it made perfect sense that both her and her husband had to go through certain life events in order to be prepared for each other and what their marriage would look like. She said that a few years prior, if he had proposed, she wouldn’t have accepted the proposal but because of certain circumstances that they each had to go through SEPARATELY in order to become the people they needed to be for each other, they now make perfect sense for each other and compliment each other so well. Allahuma barik their relationship is so beautiful mashallah TabarakAllah. So all this to say, trust in Allah’s timing. Trust in the preparation that Al-Aleem is doing for both you and your future spouse to be ready for each other. I needed this reminder today and wanted to share in hopes that it keeps you going as well. And trust that whatever is meant for you won’t miss you, so if you’re not ready to accept what he decreed is good for you, he is molding you to receive that gift soon inshallah! May Allah Al-Mujeeb answer all your du’as in ways beyond your wildest imagination!

What are you looking for in a man and which answers and green flags do you want to see from him during the vetting process? I’m new to all of this so any suggestions are welcome