It's been pretty quiet here the last couple of months. I expect moving to Bulgaria is time consuming. As for me, my quiet comeback has become a raging river of activity. Here's what's happened since I began my quiet comeback. 1. I confronted my family issues, dealt with them and moved forwards. 2. Re engaged with my flying and passed my PPL. 3. Obtained a research place on a solar project (I left astronomy behind some years ago and regretted it). Now I'm making a positive contribution on something 99% of people don't even realise exists. 4. I went up for an audition for a part in a show that I had always dreampt of and nailed it, (I used to be a professional actor, singer, dancer and always regretted having to leave it behind). 5. I have found inner peace and confidence the like of which I could never have imagined. I love life and I'm not afraid anymore. 6. I have returned to live performance singing as a cabaret artist. My new goals: 1. Professional photoshoot in November, going to look my best ever. 2. Signed up for my instrument and duel engine ratings for flying. 3. Publishing new research in my chosen field. 4. Continuing to reconnect with those that support me. 5. Beginning a live stream lecture series for under grads in my chosen field. This has all happened in just over 12 months. Yes, it was hard work. Was it worth it.....HELL YES!!!! I'm nothing special, I just had a vision of what my life could and should be and had the sense to seek out those who could genuinely help me. I added the hard work and effort. Go grab your future you.

I didn’t sleep last night……too many things running through my head. I met my sister for the first time last night…. It was great to meet her and sit and talk to what happened to us both….i gave her a cuddle and it was like we had known each other forever! The old me wasn’t capable of meeting her as he was too angry and lost in the past….new me welcomed the moment and it’s helping me grow into the man I know is waiting….. If you have things from the past that haunt you…..face them head on! This was the same situation last week when I also met my brother for the first time. Control your chaos…..don’t let it control you

Right… I’m gonna be straight with you. Recently I had to face something from my past. The sort of situation that years ago would’ve sent me straight back into anger, defensiveness, and survival mode before it had even started. Old me would’ve walked in looking for a fight. Not always physically… but mentally, emotionally… ready to bite back, ready to protect myself, ready for it to go wrong. But this time… I walked in calm. No chest tightening.No scanning the room.No planning exit routes in my head like I used to. Just walked in, listened, had the conversation, and walked out knowing one thing… I’m not that bloke anymore. And that hit me hard on the drive home. Because there was a time in my life where anger felt like armour. It felt like protection. It got me through some dark shit… and if I’m honest, it probably kept me standing when I didn’t have much else. But it also controlled me.It made decisions for me.It made everything look like a threat. And facing this situation showed me something massive… You don’t delete the man you used to be.You don’t pretend he never existed. You respect him… because he got you through the storms. But he doesn’t get to drive anymore. These days that version of me is still there… still strong… still capable… He’s just the bodyguard now. Not the boss. I’m grateful to the man I was…But I’m fully committed to the man I’m becoming. And lads… that version isn’t perfect. He’s not finished. But he’s calmer, stronger, and doesn’t quit on himself when life gets heavy. If you’re battling stuff from your past right now, hear this… You are NOT stuck with who you were. You’re allowed to outgrow it.You’re allowed to rebuild.You’re allowed to become dangerous in the right ways… disciplined… controlled… steady. And the day you realise you handled something differently than the old you would’ve… That’s a powerful moment. Keep doing the work. It’s worth it.

Is there a more negative and destructive phrase that has ever been spoken. On the face of it, it sounds benine and neutral. Infact if you hear anyone use this, run far and fast away. In actual fact this is a phrase that really means "I don't care and never will". It represents a total disregard for the subject at hand and dismisses it as irrelevant. It supports a total lack of effort to even try and to accept whatever it is without examination. Of late I have heard this in two conversations and when examined it tends to come from those with a negative world view. So I run and exit the conversation as I have no room for this in my life. It most certainly isn't what it is, it needs a mind and effort. Beware!

When I was younger I had a passion for stage work which saw me take leading comedy musical roles on some very big stages. I had a drive and aptitude which gave me a clear career path in the world of entertainment. Like so many of us, life took over and the necessity to provide a stable background that kept you present as afamily man meant that I wasn't able to pursue that life. I took joy in being able to participate where ever I could and played more of a semi pro role after the kids came along. One part of performing that was my happy place was tap dancing. I was by all accounts very good but as life took it's toll and my fitness diminished, the tap shoes were put away. I still sang and fronted shows but that too slowly diminished into the past. As my fitness journey has progessed, so to has my mental strength and appetite for reclaiming my happy place. I began dabbling with dance again in terms of adapting step cardio workouts into a geriatric dance class for myself. Each week I have a Sunday self board meeting in which I go through my journal (A4 page a day) and reflect on the past week. It became clear that I wasn't happy holding myself to old promises to my old life. That old life and responsibilities have passed. This is my time. So last night I contacted an old theatre friend of mine who owns a dance academy, He was a guy that had choreographed several shows that I had been in. I've met him for a drink a few times since my fitness journey started so he knew what was happening. His reaction to my call "I wondered when you'd be calling about this". He knew that I wanted back in. He told me he had seen that old spark returning. Without me giving a great deal away he simply said "Lets get you down to the studio tomorrow and get you started". When the genuine desire returns, opportunites present themselves. So...........reclaim your happy place, it may be something in the past that has lurked in the back of your mind. Maybe you think you're not capeable anymore, to that I say BULL SHIT! Life is too full of cudda, shudda wudda moments. As Yoda says "There is no try in do". Go grab your happy place and reclaim it, not tomorrow....TODAY!