Some of us were carrying grown responsibilities before we even understood our own needs. We learned to suppress emotions, keep family secrets, protect people who weren’t protecting us, and still show up like everything was okay. Make good grades. Be a wife. Raise the kids. Excel. Be everything for everybody. Then one day, you look in the mirror and realize you don’t know the woman looking back. You know what she does for people. But who is she? Sisters, I’ve been there, and if I am being honest...i still visit there. Doing this work means getting to know who we are outside of the things we do. It means speaking up, establishing boundaries, and sometimes telling people we love, “That doesn’t work for me anymore.” Those changes can shift relationships. This work is ongoing, and it asks a lot of us. I’m also learning to look at other women with more understanding—to consider what someone may have survived, what she’s protecting, and whether anyone ever showed up for her. We have work to do. For ourselves, our daughters, and our granddaughters. Who are you outside of what you do for everybody else—and what is one thing you need to make room for that woman?

The idea that we can do everything. Hold it together. Act as if nothing is bothering us and nothing is wrong, while still excelling and being everything for everybody else. Meanwhile, we may not feel safe enough—or trust even the people around us enough—to let them see the load we’re carrying. And this starts early. Through examples and experiences, we’re taught that showing emotion or not being able to do something isn’t safe. So we hold on. Sis, sit with that for a moment. When you’ve learned to keep it together, letting somebody know you’re struggling can feel like a risk. As we begin this conversation here in Seated Sisters, I want us to make room for an honest answer. You don’t have to make it sound pretty. What did you learn early about being the “strong one,” and how does that lesson still shape what you allow others to see?

Understanding how to be everything for ourselves in the midst of chaos. But how!? And how do we stepback and look at ourselves in that very moment. We are critical thinkers, problem solvers, and leaders, so even for a second or short notice, how do we ground ourselves in that moment. ... I think I quit my job mentally about 30days in September..... 😂 my point exactly.

this is me processing in real time...

We made it through Day 1: What Is the Shadow? And before we rush into the next lesson, I want us to practice something we're going to be doing a lot over these 21 days: Noticing ourselves. Yesterday I asked you to consider: What part of what I’ve always called “just who I am” might actually be something I learned to become? So this morning, Just check in. Which one are you sitting with today? And if you feel comfortable, finish this sentence: “One thing I’m beginning to notice about myself is…” Remember, you don't have to explain your whole story. Recognition is enough for today. Because this first Becoming is Becoming Aware. We're not trying to fix everything we see. We're learning how to SEE IT without shaming ourselves for it. And when the pattern shows up, what do we do? TAKE YOUR S.E.A.T.™ 🪑