When you recognize your triggers, you can then begin to work on them. Triggers don’t belong. Here’s an example: If you don’t like the look of a certain person for some reason, that’s a trigger. The reason that it’s a trigger and a YOU problem is because not everyone has the same trigger about that certain person. The reality behind it is that something about the look of that person reminds you in some way of another person or people that had a negative affect on you at some point earlier in your life. Another example could be seeing someone bullied makes you angry. Not everyone gets angry (but many typically do) in that situation. You do and therefore you’re triggered. Seeing that might bring you back to a time that you were bullied or that someone you cared about got bullied and it imprinted in your mind. When we work on and dissolve our triggers, fears vanish, anger reduces, pain releases, and peace fills their places. One hugely important question to ask then: What are one of your triggers?

What’s harder: starting a conversation or keeping it going?

It may be hard to admit, but that's the first step. What's your social fear specifically?

For me, I almost fear the uncertainty of an interaction more than rejection. Try this super quick exercise for making uncertainty desirable instead. 1. Imagine that you’re watching a movie that you’re really into. Someone pauses it. You can’t find out the rest. 2. If someone did tell you the rest, it would kind of ruin it, wouldn’t it? 3. You have an anxiety or disappointment that you can’t continue it, right? 4. Transfer that anxiety or disappointment to an interaction opportunity that you’re visualizing right now. 5. Feel the anxiety and disappointment that you can’t find out what will happen in that interaction. This should assist in propelling you to take the chance.

When we remove the stakes and the importance from social interactions, we can free flow. It gets way easier. Think what it’s like to talk to friends or family members. Easy right? You can almost tell them anything right? That’s because the stakes are low and you’ve removed the importance of how well the interaction goes. Get your head around that.