Anyone got tips on loving without fear? I’ve been quite fearful do to past betrayals.

I’ve been off of this channel for a while. I’m going through what feels like the most painful experience of my life right now, and I’m looking for some spiritual advice. I wake up every morning thinking about the betrayal and heartbreak, and my first thought is often, “I just want to wake up from this nightmare.” I haven’t been able to work properly, and this has been affecting me enormously. My life feels completely shattered. My best friend Matt and I have been close for 17 years. I trusted him with my life. He had been there for me through previous betrayals and had actually helped me heal from them, so I never imagined that he could be the person who would hurt me this way. I was in a relationship with Vanessa for about five years. It was a very deep, loving relationship, but also very unstable and painful at times. There was a strong push-pull dynamic. She told me many times that she loved me, that I was the only one, that she wanted to marry me and have children with me, and that she couldn’t stay away from me. We had many genuinely happy moments together. I have pictures of us laughing and being happy together that are very difficult to look at now. I was also there for Vanessa through some of the lowest periods of her life. I supported her when she was in the hospital for her mental health and when she was struggling. I believed in her and saw potential in her even when she was at her lowest. Eventually she ended the relationship and told me it was unhealthy for her and that she didn’t want to get back together. I struggled a lot with letting go because I still loved her and had hoped we could eventually work things out. I’ve been trying to work on myself, especially around attachment, my emotional reactions, meditation, surrender, and trusting God/the universe rather than trying to control outcomes. After our breakup, Matt needed a place to stay because of his work situation. He asked if it would be okay for him to stay with Vanessa for a maximum of three months. I said yes because I trusted him completely. He was my buddy and needed somewhere to stay. Her place was much closer to his work than mine, so it made sense. I also secretly hoped that having my best friend there might somehow help Vanessa and me find our way back to each other.

Love is the dream, everything else is an illusion. This platform is no longer serving me. Good luck to you all on your spiritual journeys.

https://youtu.be/IVAezL3juB8?si=jbNqUlUXUV2s9pdQ

Hi, everyone. I just wanted to know if any of you know anything about gangstalking?