This morning I was asked to share my writing with a meditation group of women all across the country. As I entered the zoom, I was introduced as the author. I blushed, and fumbled on my words because I have never been called an author before. As a child, I loved books. As I grew up, I loved writing. I fell in love with the process of writing essays. From the rough draft, all the way to the final draft. I loved the process of how the layout changed, how things could be added, take away, transmuted. Like the story was alive. As time has gone on, and life has shifted, those writing skills have gone unused. For years I didn’t make time for writing, because there was no need. But now that I am in my purpose as a Sound Practitioner, my writing has made its way back into my presence. Not everyday, but often enough that I get the chance to put together thread of thoughts that I want to share. For years I have put out emails and social media posts without any feedback. But this email, touched someone in my circle who is actually an author. Someone who writes, who uses her gifts and shares it with the world. When she asked me to share my writing with this group, my first thought was, “but I’m not a writer, this privilege doesn’t belong to me”. But after sitting with that feeling, I knew that wasn’t true. Someone read my email and thought it was deserving. It touched her in a way that words and stories have always touched me. So today I shared my writing. I shared my thoughts, my skills, my purpose. The conversation that wrapped around being present with what we eat and drink, morphed into talks of traveling, different cultures and how they appreciate food and the presence of family and friends, not a schedule. It developed into such a beautiful collaboration or stories, and time stood still for me. The story had come alive. And I sit in great gratitude that my life is filled with such moments of presence, gifts and the courage to share them. My question to you is, what gifts, talents or passions have you forgotten about that could touch someone else? And are you courageous enough to share them?

We were never meant to live as though every day is the same. Nature doesn’t. The seasons change. The sun rises and sets. Plants grow, bloom, die back and begin again. And every month, the moon moves through its own visible cycle of darkness, growth, fullness and return. For thousands of years, human beings lived much closer to these natural rhythms than most of us do today. The moon helped mark the passage of time, seasons, celebrations and gatherings. And I think there is something incredibly grounding about remembering that. Not because the Full Moon has to mean we manifest something. Not because we need to release something. And not because we have to believe the moon is doing something to us. But because we need markers. Modern life makes it incredibly easy to move from one day to the next without ever stopping long enough to notice where we actually are. A natural cycle gives us an opportunity to pause. How am I feeling? What has this season of my life held? What does my body need right now? Where could I use more rest, connection or space? For me, this is the beauty of cyclical living. We allow the rhythms already happening around us to remind us that we are living, breathing beings — not machines designed to operate at the same capacity every single day. And that is also the heart behind my monthly Full Moon Ceremony. Not worshiping the moon. Not asking anything of it. Simply allowing this beautiful moment in nature’s cycle to become a marker — a reason to gather, slow down, reconnect with our bodies, settle our nervous systems and experience sound and stillness together.

This summer I have taken a lot of time to slow down in my thoughts. I’ve battled moments of feeling bored, or feeling like I needed to be more productive, and have had to fight my patterns of staying busy. In the process, so much more space has been made for new ideas, more conversations and more connection with God. Through this, I have been hit with waves of intuitive concepts, so much expansion that I’m finding it hard to sleep or even get the words down on paper. In the past, these ideas would come in, I would jot them down and forget about them, put them off because I was “too busy” to attend to them. Now that I’m in the process of sitting with them, it’s pouring in full force. I have the space to actually sit with the ideas, let them develop, day dream even. And it makes me wonder, do we all keep ourselves too busy to hear our intuition? Do we stay productive from subconscious fear of hearing our calling? Because following intuition requires accountability, of hearing it and taking action in it. Not questioning it. Have you received “hits” from Source that you put off? Saying you would come back to it but didn’t? Stayed in the same pattern of going and going?

We are taught to replace, not mend. We live in a world that tells us to get the next big thing, the upgraded version, cancel culture. As the AC went out in my SUV this week, I was put in a position where I faced this programming head on. The shop gave me a laundry list of things wrong with it. My 2014 GMC that I chose over a 2021 Benz, was crapping out on me. I chose it for many reasons. Wanting a lower payment was one of them, but mostly I wanted something that I could USE in every sense. And that’s what I have done. Between kids and business, I drive A LOT. My first instinct when this all happened yesterday was, I gotta trade this thing in. I gotta get rid of this thing. But after my emotions settled, I sat with my choices. I could put the money into fixing it, possibly us doing it ourselves with the help of family, or I could trade it in and put myself in a financial position that doesn’t align with what we need. This brought me to being resourceful. I’ve been working on making a switch in all aspects of life, away from automatic replacement to fixing things, using them past their prime. It’s been hard, realizing how quick I am to order a new sports bra online at midnight, or a supplement that keeps showing up on my IG feed. Even at the grocery store, not reaching for that fun snack or convenience lead by food noise. Learning to use, and be grateful for what we have. It’s an act of presence. A skill. 100 years ago people weren’t buying a new car when the motor mounts went out. They weren’t getting the newest IPhone or that latest drop of Jordans. They used what they had. They fixed things. And that’s got me thinking about how we treat our relationships too. In friendships, in family, in love. The divorce rate is the highest it’s ever been. It can’t be a coincidence that it’s because we live in a world to trade in when things get rough instead of fixing things. We have been taught subconsciously to buy new, need new, want new. The next shiny thing. You know that part of the relationship when the honey moon phase ends and you are left with the actual person? this is where people usually move onto the next exciting fling. Instead of getting to know the person you fell for, working through differences, fixing things.

3 years ago today, I made a decision that changed the trajectory of my life. When I entered my first mentorship, I had no idea this is where I would end up. What I did know, is I wasn’t fulfilled. And it ate at me. I had something to share with the collective, and I had to find out what that was. I went through a program that affected me so deeply I’m not sure I could ever put it all into words. The spiritual coach training program turned out to be coaching….for me. I had to peel back many layers of myself in order to hold this work. I had to learn the art of staying with myself, with my emotions, with the questions. I had to learn to pause. To observe my own patterns. To rediscover myself. Somehow through this process is when I discovered my gift in sound therapy. It became larger than life. And I knew, with every ounce of me, this was the work. But it’s never JUST been about sound. It’s always been about emotions. And our capacity for them. What our nervous systems can hold. And now, 3 years later, the training that was my stepping stone is coming back full circle. The Capacity Project. We are not trying to regulate emotions. We are building the capacity to remain in relationship with ourselves while emotions move through us. It’s returning to yourself over and over again. Somatics and Sound. Safety. The first ring on the tree of your trunk. Join me virtually for the first session of this series in discovering how to deepen your relationship with yourself.