WHEN MARRIAGE BECOMES TWO STRANGERS SHARING AN ADDRESS Not every marriage crashes because of infidelity, abuse or financial problems. Sometimes, something far quieter destroys it—the gradual loss of companionship. Two people can still love each other, remain faithful, raise their children and live under the same roof, yet slowly become strangers. Marriage needs more than responsibilities. It needs connection. Couples must learn to sit together, talk, laugh, cook, play games, watch movies, take walks and simply enjoy each other's presence. Sadly, many marriages eventually become administrative partnerships where almost every conversation is about bills, children, school, chores, arguments and problems. Work can make this worse. One spouse leaves early and returns late while the other works nights. They may be working hard for the family while unknowingly working themselves away from each other. And emotional emptiness rarely stays empty. When couples stop communicating deeply with each other, they often begin communicating more with people outside the marriage. Someone else starts hearing the jokes, dreams, frustrations and little stories that once belonged between husband and wife. These external friendships may begin innocently, but emotional intimacy grows wherever time, attention and communication are consistently invested. The danger becomes greater when another man or woman gradually becomes easier and more exciting to talk to than your own spouse. Eventually, couples can sit beside each other physically while emotionally living in completely different worlds. Protect the friendship inside your marriage. Create time deliberately. Date again. Laugh again. Talk about things other than responsibilities. Put the phones down. Eat together. Walk together. Pray together. Rediscover the person you married. Watch a film together. Share foolish jokes together. Banter and rage-bait with humour. Never give outsiders the happiest, funniest and most attentive version of yourself while your spouse receives only your exhaustion, silence and irritation.

RAISE CHILDREN WHO CAN FEEL THEIR PARENTS’ SACRIFICES There is an indescribable joy in being able to provide for your children. But somewhere between providing and overindulging, parents must be careful not to raise children who enjoy the fruit but have no compassion for the tree that produced it. Some parents work tirelessly, sacrifice their own needs and suffer silently just to give their children a comfortable life. Unfortunately, when children constantly receive without learning gratitude and responsibility, privilege becomes expectation, expectation becomes entitlement, and entitlement can eventually kill empathy. I have seen children become angry, rude or walk away from hardworking parents in shops simply because they could not afford an expensive item or fashionable brand. Yet how often does a child stop and ask: “Mum, can you actually afford this?” “Dad, are you okay?” “Is there anything I can do to help?” Parents are human too. They become tired, sick, worried and financially overwhelmed. Children must be taught to notice these things and develop compassion for the very people sacrificing for them. And parents must please help create that character. Doing everything for a healthy teenager is not necessarily love. If at 13–17 a child is constantly served, cleaned after, given everything they demand and expected to contribute nothing, adulthood may arrive while responsibility does not. Infact, start the lessons very early from when they are 4-5years old. Simple tasks. Love should prepare children for life—not protect them from every responsibility of life. Teach children to cook, clean and help with household chores. Teach them contentment and money management. Teach them that “We cannot afford it” is not an insult or embarrassment. When appropriate, encourage older teenagers to experience legitimate part-time work. Earning money teaches them that every pound represents somebody’s time, effort and sacrifice. Do not suffer silently trying to make your children appear wealthy. They do not need expensive labels while their parents are drowning financially.

CLASSISM: THE INVISIBLE WALLS WE PRETEND NOT TO SEE Whether we like it or not, accept it or deny it, debate it or defend it, we live in a world deeply shaped by classism. Humanity speaks passionately about equality, yet much of society is organised around separation—by wealth, social status, race, geography, nationality and opportunity. We condemn discrimination in principle, while quietly maintaining systems that often determine who gets more comfort, better access, greater opportunity and sometimes even a better chance of survival. Classism has become so normalised that we rarely call it by its name. Instead, we dress it in respectable language: Premium Service. VIP. First Class. Economy. Priority Access. Private Education. Exclusive Membership. Developed World. Developing World. The words sound harmless. But behind some of them lies an uncomfortable question: How much of human dignity should money be allowed to buy? If class does not matter, why can wealth determine the neighbourhood you can afford to live in, the schools your children can access, the quality and speed of healthcare available to you, the comfort with which you travel, and sometimes even how easily you can cross a border? Two equally brilliant children can be born on the same day, yet one inherits opportunity while the other inherits obstacles—not because one is more intelligent, disciplined or deserving, but because their starting points are different. Two sick people may carry the same pain, yet their bank balances can profoundly influence the choices available to them. We have somehow created a world where money does not merely purchase possessions; it can purchase access, convenience, influence, time and opportunity. Of course, differences in price and service are not automatically injustice. People will always make different choices and have different resources. But society should become uncomfortable when economic differences begin determining whose potential is developed, whose suffering is prolonged, whose voice is heard and whose humanity appears to matter more.

PEOPLE MAY ADDRESS YOU THE WAY YOU DRESS This message is especially for young people. Before leaving home, look at yourself and ask: “What message does my appearance send to people who don't know me?” It may seem unfair, but people often form impressions before they know your character, intelligence or background. People may address you according to the way you dress. This is why it worries me to see groups of teenagers dressed entirely in black, sometimes covering their faces with balaclavas or bandanas and wearing gloves in public places. Such clothing does not make anyone a criminal, but in certain circumstances it can understandably create fear and suspicion. Even more heartbreaking are videos of teenagers entering shops in groups to steal. Young people, please understand: Shoplifting is not achievement. Gang membership is not brotherhood. Drug dealing is not entrepreneurship. Frightening innocent people is not strength. You may steal today and escape. You may even escape tomorrow. But repeated success can deceive you into believing there will never be consequences. There may be. CCTV, police records and criminal convictions can follow people into adulthood. Depending on the circumstances, something done at 15, 16 or 17 may later affect employment opportunities or appear in relevant DBS vetting. Never exchange a few minutes of teenage excitement for years of adult regret. I am particularly passionate about young Black people because the actions of a minority can reinforce stereotypes that unfairly affect completely innocent Black children and adults. That is why we must condemn both criminal behaviour and racial stereotyping. Crime has no colour, and no person's character should ever be determined by their race. The painful irony is that our young people possess enormous potential. Black children, like children from every community, are excelling academically, creatively, professionally and in entertainment. There is tremendous talent waiting to be developed.

CHILDREN LEARN MORE FROM WHAT WE DO Parenting is not only about what we tell our children; it is also about what they repeatedly see us do. How do you tell your child not to smoke while you smoke? How do you explain the dangers of drinking when they regularly see you drinking? How do you teach respectful communication when they hear you swearing, shouting and speaking aggressively to others? And how do you teach honesty when they hear you say, “Tell them I'm not home,” while you are sitting beside them watching television? What seems like a harmless lie to an adult can teach a child that dishonesty is acceptable when it is convenient. Children notice these contradictions. They watch how we speak, behave when angry, treat people, keep promises and handle our weaknesses. Parents do not have to be perfect. We can admit our mistakes and tell our children, “I got this wrong; please don't repeat it.” But our effort to change must also be visible. You cannot continually demonstrate one lifestyle and expect occasional lectures to produce the opposite character in your child. Sometimes, before correcting the child, we must confront the adult in the mirror. Remember, your lifestyle is speaking to your children even when your mouth is closed. The most powerful parenting lesson may not be what you tell your children, but what they watch you become. A lot of times the girl child learn promiscuity by watching snd observing how her mum communicate with multiple male friends, entertain them and flagrantly go out with them whenevershe feels like. Even though she may not be doing anything "nasty" with them all, but she has quietly sold an impression to her daughter and that will stay in her memory for life. Sadly, when she begins to come of age, she too would want to experiment what she grew up seeing her mum do. Perhaps, she has no experience to navigate without harming herself and personality. Be guided! ~ ShamelDdon