Day 1 Homework · Instagram For R*tards

Day 1 Homework

5 Struggles

1. Pressure:

I'm really hard on myself. I put a ridiculous amount of pressure on myself with pretty much everything I do. gym, work, money, even little things that probably don't matter that much. I can have a really good day and still go to bed thinking about the three things I didn't get done. The fucked up part is that I know this is also one of the reasons I've gotten as far as I have. I'm extremely competitive with myself and I don't really know how to turn that off. But I'm starting to realize there's a difference between wanting to get better and never allowing yourself to feel like you're doing enough.

2. Perception:

I care way too much about what other people think of me, and honestly, it's probably held me back more than anything else. I'll make a video, edit it, watch it back and think it's actually pretty good. I'll start writing the caption and then I'll start thinking about who is going to see it. What are people from high school going to think? Is this cringe? Are people going to think I'm trying too hard? What if somebody makes fun of me? I've had stuff sitting on my phone that I actually wanted to post and didn't because I got in my own head about what other people might think. The funny part is I'll see somebody else post something completely ridiculous and think, "Good for him, he doesn't give a fuck." That's what I want to get to. I want to be able to post something because I like it without having this entire imaginary conversation in my head about what everyone else is going to think. Most of these people probably don't care anyway.

3. Addiction

I've struggled with addiction in a bunch of different ways. Gambling, drinking, drugs, porn, nicotine, caffeine. Pretty much anything that gives me some kind of immediate dopamine hit, I've found a way to overdo it at some point. And I think the bigger problem is that I don't really know how to do anything halfway. It's never really been "I'll have a drink." It's "fuck it, let's drink." It's never just one bet. It's "let's see what happens tonight." I've had plenty of times where I've told myself I'm going to cut something out or get control of it, and then somehow I'm right back doing the same shit a few days or weeks later. What's frustrating is that I'm actually a pretty disciplined person in other areas of my life. I can diet, train six days a week, work all day, and stick to a routine when I really want to. But then there are these other areas where I'll completely lose my head.

4. Being a people pleaser

I've always been a people pleaser, and honestly, I don't think I realized how much it controlled me until I started paying attention to it. I'll say yes to things I don't want to do because I don't want to disappoint somebody. I'll avoid saying what I actually think because I don't want to make someone uncomfortable. I'll put other people's feelings ahead of my own and then get frustrated with myself later because I know I didn't really want to do whatever I agreed to. There have been plenty of times where I've been sitting in my car after a conversation thinking, "Why the fuck did I just say yes to that?" I knew what I wanted to say, but I didn't want to deal with somebody being upset with me. And I think that's where it connects to social media too. I'm constantly thinking about how something I post might make somebody feel or what somebody might think about me. I don't want people to think I'm arrogant, annoying, fake, or trying too hard, so sometimes I make myself smaller just to avoid the possibility of somebody not liking me. The problem is, you can't build the life you actually want while constantly trying to make sure everybody else is comfortable with your decisions. I'm still learning how to say no, how to disappoint people without feeling like a piece of shit, and how to understand that somebody being unhappy with a decision I made doesn't automatically mean I made the wrong decision.

5.Self Confidence

I think self-confidence is probably one of the biggest things people misunderstand about me. From the outside, I probably look like one of the most confident people you'll meet. I'm 6'3", I'm jacked, I'm funny, I'm good looking, and I have no problem walking into a room and talking to people. I get told all the time that I seem extremely confident. The part people don't see is that I fucking hate what I see in the mirror most days. I can have a great workout, be in really good shape, take a picture that everyone else tells me looks good, and I'll still zoom in on it and find everything that's wrong with me. My chest isn't big enough. My waist could be smaller. They see the confidence because I've learned how to carry myself confidently. They don't see how fucking hard I am on myself when nobody else is around. Sometimes I look at pictures from a year ago and think I looked incredible, even though I remember standing there at the time thinking I looked like shit. That's how fucked up my perception can be. I'm constantly chasing some version of myself that I think will finally make me happy with what I see in the mirror, and I'm starting to realize that version probably doesn't exist.

5 Contrasting Wins

1. Pressure --> Discipline

I'm extremely hard on myself, but that same pressure has gotten me pretty far. I've never been good at doing anything halfway. Whether it's the gym, social settings, or betting. once I decide I want something, I become obsessed with getting better. Sometimes I need to learn how to turn it off, but I can't deny that the same mindset that beats me up has also helped me

2. Perception → Who cares?

I used to overthink everything I posted. I'd make a video, watch it 20 times, worry about what people would think, and sometimes never post it. Eventually I realized most people don't care nearly as much as I thought they did. Everyone has their own lives and shit going on, they dont care about what i post, worst case they unfollow me and i can truly see whos there for me and who isnt

3. Addiction → Obsession

I've struggled with a lot of addictive behaviors, but I've also realized that the same obsessive personality can be an advantage when I point it in the right direction. I can become completely obsessed with the gym, my business, or social media and work on something for hours without realizing how much time passed. I don't want to get rid of that part of me. I just want to get better at deciding what deserves that obsession.

4. People Pleasing → Choosing myself

I've spent a lot of my life saying yes when I wanted to say no because I didn't want to disappoint people. I'm finally learning that somebody being upset with me doesn't automatically mean I did something wrong. I'm getting better at saying no, making decisions for myself, and letting people have their own opinions without feeling like I need to fix them.

5. Self-Confidence → Becoming comfortable being uncomfortable

People see me as confident. I'm 6'3", jacked, funny, good looking, and I've built a life where I'm constantly putting myself out there. What they don't see is how hard I am on myself when nobody's around. I've learned how to carry myself confidently even when I don't feel confident inside. I'm still my own biggest critic, but I'm getting better at showing up anyway.

Hook 1 — Self-Confidence

“Everyone thinks I'm extremely confident. Meanwhile, I hate what I see in the mirror almost every day.”

Hook 2 — Addiction

“I've been addicted to gambling, drinking, drugs, porn, nicotine and caffeine. The weird part? That same addictive personality helped me build my business.”

Hook 3 — Perception

“I spent years worrying about what people thought of me, only to realize nobody actually gives a fuck.”

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Day 1 Homework