Eighteen years ago, Kate and I travelled to Kerala, India for a course that changed far more than our professional lives… One afternoon, we visited the SOS Children’s Village to model the excellence of the team running it. While we were having tea, a young girl - 9 years old, sweeping the courtyard - walked over, smiled, and said: “Hello auntie, hello uncle.” In that moment, Sughandy walked straight into our hearts. We decided that day to sponsor her, support her education, and make sure she had everything she needed. Letters turned into phone calls, phone calls turned into video chats, and every year I travelled back to India to visit her. She worked hard, qualified as a nurse, and a few years ago moved to Galway, Ireland to work as a carer. There, she met a young man who she’ll be marrying this Saturday. This week, Kate, India, Keira and I will travel to India to give her away, the only four members of her family among 200 guests from her new husband’s side. I’ll share our journey here, on Instagram and Facebook. This is more than a trip. It’s the continuation of a promise we made 18 years ago.

What if the opposite of my most negative thoughts or assumptions is actually true? What would change in my current mood?

We’ve all been there: booking a tropical beach getaway because we desperately need to "escape the daily grind," only to find ourselves a bit under-whelmed? Why do our dream holidays sometimes feel like a psychological mismatch? I believe the problem isn't the destination; it's our vocabulary when planning. Anyone who has worked with me in coaching or training knows I love Clean Language—a communication framework designed to strip away external assumptions and uncover what we actually mean. When applied to holiday planning, I think it could be better than Expedia! What is Clean Language? Developed by psychologist David Grove, Clean Language is a method of questioning that avoids introducing the speaker's own biases, metaphors, or expectations. Instead, it uses a person's exact words to help them explore their own internal landscape. When you apply this to yourself (or a travel partner/s), you stop asking generic questions like, "Should we go to Italy or Thailand?" and start unpacking your true unconscious desires. Unpacking the "Dream Holiday" We often use shorthand metaphors when booking travel, assuming everyone defines them the same way. Clean Language forces us to cross-examine those metaphors before hitting "book now." You say, "I just want to relax." - A Clean follow up Question: "And what kind of 'relax' is that 'relax'?" - The Reveal: For one person, "relax" means lying entirely still on a lounge chair. For another, it means wandering through an empty museum. Asking the question prevents you from booking a beach resort when you actually wanted a quiet city break. OR You say, "I need to recharge my batteries." - The Clean follow up Question: "And when you recharge, you are like what?" - The Reveal: You might realise your "battery" doesn't need passive rest; it needs high-energy inspiration, excellent food, and live music. OR what about The "Escape" Illusion: You say, "I want to get away from it all." - The Clean follow up Question: "And when you get away, what happens to 'it all'?" - The Reveal: If "it all" is digital burnout, a luxury hotel with high-speed Wi-Fi won't help. You need a literal off-grid cabin.