Hi moms, “It’s dirty” is a phrase I hear a lot from picky eaters, and it makes new foods much harder. One child I work with used to say this about almost everything. I could offer the same brand and the same type of food, just a different flavor with visible spices, and he would refuse to even lick it. To me it looked like a small change. To his brain, it was too big of a difference. Here is what helped. 1. I teach kids how to spit food out. That gives them a way out, so trying something feels less scary. 2. I show them what a small bite actually is. A lot of my patients hear “small bite” and think they have to bite and swallow the whole thing. 3. I let them say, “I’m not ready.” That phrase gives them some control, and it still leaves the door open to try it another day. The goal is not to force the bite. The goal is to make the food feel safe enough that a tiny taste is possible. Has your child ever called a food “dirty,” “yucky,” or “not the right one” just because it looked a little different? I would love to hear what they say at the table.

Hi moms, Every child I work with loves their own ideas more than anyone else’s. They also love their routines, and they will protect them at all costs. It is easy to get trapped in a cycle. We honor the request to avoid a meltdown, and that decision slowly teaches them that strong control works. Over time it can spread to school, games with peers, chores, and daily plans. Then the tantrums get bigger, because real life will not let them control everything to the letter. That is usually the point when families start working with me. Here are the 3 main steps I use. 1. Balance their ideas with your requests Kids have wonderful imaginations, and I want them to know that. So I use both kinds of phrases. “I love your idea. Let’s do it.” And also, “Oh, you have a different idea from the one I had in my head. Let’s do our letters first, and then we can do your idea.” This keeps their creativity, while still showing them that someone else’s plan can happen too. 2. Slow the pace Some kids reach a point where they touch a toy for a second and then leave it. That is often more about impulsivity and the urge to move on than about not liking the toy. I like to pause and say, “Oh wait, I see something out of place,” and then we clean it up together. That small reset adds structure and a little flexibility without turning play into a lecture. 3. Add short, structured games I use simple turn taking games, or competitive games that I shorten so they are easy to finish and move on from. The goal is practice waiting, handling a surprise, and not winning every time. I also use dramatic, funny phrases like, “Oh no! I was not expecting that.” Kids often copy those phrases later when something unexpected or disappointing happens, which gives them a lighter way to handle the moment. The goal is not to shut down their ideas. The goal is to keep their ideas, and still teach them that other people, other plans, and small changes can be part of the day too. Does your child try to control games, routines, or what everyone else says?

Hi moms, This is a screenshot from a session with "D". He is not sitting at a table. He is not looking at the camera the whole time. He is on his play mat, with his toys and a balloon, and someone is right there with him. From the outside it can look like we are “just playing.” From my side, this is often where the real work starts. A lot of parents tell me they feel like a session, a school activity, or even playtime only counts if their child is sitting nicely and following the plan. I see the opposite most weeks. When a child feels safe in their own space, their body is usually more regulated, and they are more open to connection, turn taking, and trying something new. Some of the best sessions I have are the ones that look a little messy. The child is moving, lying down, or controlling the toys. My job is to meet them there and slowly add a little structure, not to force them into my idea of what learning should look like. Progress does not always look calm and quiet. Sometimes it looks exactly like this. Have you ever felt like the day only counted if your child sat still and followed along? I would love to hear what that looks like in your house.

Hey moms, Anticipating how your child will handle the day, whether they will get upset by a change of plans, struggle with a transition, or melt down when something does not go their way, is exhausting. I know this feeling well, even though I do not have kids of my own. Every week I work with about 30 children I deeply care about. I am constantly thinking ahead. What skill are we working on? How might they react? What is Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C if they get overwhelmed? That constant mental preparation takes real energy. Think of yourself as a pitcher of water. We all have different sized pitchers depending on our support system, sleep, stress levels, and daily demands. Some days your pitcher starts fuller than others. But every pitcher has a limit. When it runs low or empty, it becomes much harder to help your child regulate, stay patient during hard moments, or teach them something new. This is why protecting your own energy matters so much. You cannot pour into your child from an empty pitcher.The key is learning to notice when you are getting close to empty and having a few reliable ways to fill yourself back up. For me, the three things that most consistently refill my pitcher are music, coffee, and a morning walk. These small things help me reset so I can show up calmer and more present for the kids I work with. What about you? What are the things that help refill your pitcher? I would love to hear what actually works for you, even the small things. Feel free to share in the comments.

Hey moms, I talk to a lot of parents who are trying really hard. They’re reading the books, following the strategies, showing up every day… and still feel stuck. Their child isn’t learning new skills as quickly as they’d hoped, and the same power struggles keep showing up. So what’s the difference between the moms who start seeing real progress and the ones who stay stuck in the same cycles? It’s usually not that one group loves their child more or tries harder. The moms who make progress tend to do two things at the same time: They stay flexible and they know when and where to set kind boundaries. The Winning Combination These moms understand that kids (especially neurodiverse kids) learn best when things feel safe and playful. So they get creative. They turn practice into games. They follow their child’s interests. They adjust when something isn’t working.But they don’t hand over complete control. They also know how to say: - “We’re going to learn about this.” - “I know this is hard, and we can practice together.” - “I hear you, and we can do that game after we are done practicing this.” And then they calmly follow through. That balance is powerful. Too much rigidity without play often leads to shutdowns and bigger resistance. Too much flexibility without clear boundaries often leads to the child dictating everything and skills stop growing. The moms who make progress live in the middle.They create fun. They stay connected. And they still lead. Progress rarely comes from being only fun or only firm. It comes from knowing how to be both. You can be the parent who plays and laughs with your child…and still be the parent who holds kind, clear boundaries. That’s usually where the real change starts to happen. I’d love to hear from you: Where do you currently feel more stuck... on the “making it fun” side, or on the “holding boundaries and following through” side? Feel free to share in the comments. You’re not alone in this.