Something came up on our last brotherhood call I wanted to put into words. I was at a party last weekend. Shirtless guys everywhere, sweaty, dark room in the back — the whole scene. And standing there, I had this moment: I don’t fit in here. Not because anything was wrong with it. Just… it wasn’t me. And the harder thing to admit was — this wasn’t a one-off. It’s been a pattern my whole life. Different ideas, different pace, different version of what I actually want. Growing up, I had one picture handed to me — marriage, house, kids, the stable version my parents modeled. Then I came out, and the only version of gay life in front of me was bars and parties. So I assumed that was the community. I didn’t have the language yet for what I actually wanted — my body knew before my mind did. And when you don’t align with the loud, default version, it gets framed as your problem. Not open-minded enough. Not fun enough. Not sex positive enough. So you either perform it, or you feel like you don’t belong anywhere. Here’s what I want to say to anyone else who’s felt that dissonance: your crowd exists. It’s just quieter, and it doesn’t hand itself to you at the door the way the mainstream scene does. You have to go looking for it. That’s part of why this brotherhood exists. Has anyone else felt this — like you’re standing in a room that’s supposed to be “your people” but something doesn’t click? What was that moment for you, and what did you do with it? Drop your story below if you feel like sharing. ☺️

- The Velvet Rage (Overcoming the pain of growing in a straight man's world) - Attached (New science of adult attachment and how it can help you find and keep love) - The ethical slut (A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships and other freedoms in sex and love) - Out of the shadows (Reimagining gay men's lives) If you have more book recommendations, please add them in the comments below. Also Dylan mentioned in our today's call that a bookclub would be awesome, what do you guys think, interested?

Welcome to the #1 Community for gay men focused on real connection, personal growth, and raising standards in health, dating, and life. Remember, this journey is about progress, not perfection. Show up each day with kindness, curiosity, and a willingness to post or ask anything you’d like to do. We can all support each other along the way. Step 1: Download the Skool app to make your experience easier: Get the iOS app here. Get the Android app here. And turn on your notifications! Step 2: Introduce yourself: Where are you from and what do you like to do for fun? ☺️ ALSO: This Group Is For All Of Us! Please feel free to ask questions, share wins, tell stories, vent a little, or post whatever’s on your mind. Just pick a category below and jump in. Don’t wait for me to be the only one starting the good conversations. This group gets better when all of us bring something to the table. You never know — your post might help someone else, spark a great conversation, or make another guy feel a little less alone. This is a judgment-free zone. Bring honesty, curiosity, and good energy. If someone shows up rude, weird, or disrespectful… I’ll take care of it 😎