What do you actually want? It sounds like a simple question. Sometimes, it is. But sometimes our wants have layers. There are the things we want because we genuinely desire them. There are things we learned to want because an earlier version of ourselves believed they were important. There are things we think we should want because of expectations we've absorbed from other people, our circumstances, our culture, or the person we imagine we're supposed to become. And then there are the paths we've committed ourselves to. Sometimes they're deeply aligned. Sometimes they're partly aligned but carrying expectations that have accumulated around them. Sometimes we've simply become so accustomed to being on a particular path that changing direction feels almost unthinkable. I created "The Want Beneath the Want" to explore the influences surrounding our desires. This isn't a spread designed to tell you what you want. In fact, I deliberately chose not to include that question. That's something I think belongs to us. Instead, the cards can help us examine the layers surrounding our wanting: what we've inherited from previous versions of ourselves, what we're prescribing to ourselves now, what expectations we're projecting onto the person we're becoming, and what else may be keeping us attached to the paths we're pursuing. The intention isn't to decide that everything from our past is outdated or that everything we imagine for our future is merely an expectation. Our former selves can carry wisdom, and our future aspirations can contain genuine desire. The point is simply to become curious about where our wants came from and what is influencing them now. The Want Beneath The Want 1. The Inheritance What am I carrying forward from an earlier version of myself? 2. The Residue How is that inheritance still shaping my choices? 3. The Prescription What am I telling myself I should want? 4. The Source What lies beneath that expectation? 5. The Projection What expectation of my future self is influencing me?

I did pull cards for this spread - even clarifiers, of course - but I'm still sitting with the illumination and haven't moved into the final journaling prompt. I hadn't planned on sharing my cards at first, so I didn't take a photo, but I later decided that I'd like to share what came up for me. My Cards And Interpretation: 1. The Inheritance - What am I carrying forward from an earlier version of myself? Knight of Cups & Ten of Wands When I look at the Knight of Cups and Ten of Wands together as what I am carrying forward from an earlier version of myself, I see an old relationship between desire and responsibility. The Knight of Cups is the part of me that is moved by something: an idea, a possibility, a calling, a vision of what could be. It is the part of me that follows what captures my heart and imagination. But beside the Ten of Wands, that movement toward something has historically come with a particular assumption: if something matters to me enough to pursue, then I am responsible for carrying whatever comes with it. Desire becomes a commitment, commitment becomes a burden, and eventually I can find myself carrying far more than the original desire ever asked me to carry. There is almost a rule here that says “If I choose it, I must carry it”. Looking at this as an inheritance from an earlier self, I can see how easily genuine desire could become entangled with obligation. Something moving my heart was never simply allowed to be something I wanted; it could become something I had to follow through on, sustain, justify, or endure. I think I've carried forward a tendency to measure the legitimacy of a desire by my willingness to shoulder its consequences. 2. The Residue - How is that inheritance still shaping my choices? Seven of Pentacles The Seven of Pentacles shows me how that inheritance continues to influence me: through investment. I have a history with the things I choose. I have put time into them, energy into them, thought into them, care into them. Some of these things have grown considerably because I cultivated them. That investment creates its own kind of gravity. Once I have spent years building something, it can become difficult to distinguish “I still genuinely want this” from “I have already put so much into this that leaving it feels impossible to justify”. The Seven of Pentacles doesn't tell me that my investment was wasted, nor does it tell me that I should abandon what I have cultivated. It asks me to actually assess what is growing, what is worth continuing to cultivate, and what I am tending simply because I have already tended it for so long. I can see how continuity itself can become a reason for continuing. The fact that something has been part of my life for a long time can begin to feel like evidence that it is supposed to remain part of my life. But investment is information; it is not an obligation.

🍂 Community Connect: The Turning Toast — Today! Just a little reminder that we'll be gathering today for our special Mabon/Autumn Equinox Community Connect. We'll be doing our Turning Toast Ceremony together—a small, home-brewed ritual for standing at the threshold between seasons, honoring what we've gathered, what we're carrying forward, and what we're allowing to become something new. If you'd like to prepare beforehand, here's what you'll need: 🥃 One drinking glass — anything you have 🥤 A separate container with a drink of your choice — whatever calls to you 🕯️ A candle — optional We'll move through the ceremony together, one turn at a time: 🌑 The Dark — glass upside down A moment for what's currently uncertain, unformed, or unknown. 🌕 The Light — glass upright What has become clear, illuminated, or understood. 🍎 The Harvest — turn the glass to the left What you've cultivated this past season—the fruits of what you've planted, tended, or worked for. 🌱 The Cold Crop — turn the glass to the right What you're sowing now for the darker half of the year ahead—the things that need winter to grow. 🍂 The Compost — pour your drink into the glass What you're releasing, surrendering, or conceding. Not what's discarded, but what's given forth—the old material becoming nourishment for what comes next. 🥂 The Toast — raise your glass We'll each have the opportunity to offer a word or two to the circle, if we'd like. 🍷 The Drink — together We'll take the first drink in unison, marking our shared turning toward the season ahead. You don't have to prepare anything in advance. The ceremony will guide you through it. But if you'd like to spend a few minutes beforehand thinking about your own Dark, Light, Harvest, Cold Crop, and Compost, you'll have those thoughts ready when we get there. And then we'll simply spend some time together afterward—no agenda, no pressure. See you at the threshold. 🍂

So, I found this new trend online that I decided to try. "Upload a photo of yourself into ChatGPT, and ask it to put you somewhere you absolutely don't belong." Here's the two I got. 🤣 Personally, I'd be an absolute disaster in that Penguin Restaurant, but I feel like the Velociraptor Tea Party would be lit!