Historically, the title of “gentleman” was a birthright, used to identify men of a certain rank among English nobility. No doubt these men were expected to be well-mannered, but their status as gentlemen didn’t depend on how they acted. They were merely born into it. That term “gentleman” gets bandied about a lot these days, but what does it actually mean in the 21st Century? Too many think that simply being mannerly and well-dressed are the hallmarks of the modern gentleman. If you believe everything you see in print and TV advertisements you would imagine being a gentleman means that you wear impeccably-tailored suits, have well-coiffed hair, hold a glass of whisky or bourbon in your hand (neat, of course) while sitting in a leather wing chair and smoking a fine cigar in your dimly-lit private library with leather-bound books stacked on shelves that reach the ceiling. There would be a beautiful, attentive woman nearby in a skin-tight dress waiting to cater to your needs. This is the Madison Avenue concept of a gentleman, and it’s also fantasy. I’ve searched the Internet and have come up with ten recurring traits that pretty well encapsulate the concept of being a gentleman. 1) A gentleman is well-dressed. That would be a given in this company. Well-dressed, well-groomed, polished in his presentation, whether in a tuxedo at a black-tie event or at a backyard barbecue with the neighbors. He stands out in modern society because of this; most men have slipped so far towards the sloppy and slovenly in the name of being ‘comfortable’ that the well-dressed man is an anomaly. This doesn’t mean that he over-dresses simply because he can, rather that he dresses for the occasion. Wearing a tuxedo to an informal gathering isn’t gentlemanly, it’s showing off. But remember that being a gentleman goes far beyond the clothes that you put on your back. One can be impeccably dressed and still be a horse’s ass. 2) A gentleman is kind and respectful to others and to himself. It is a character trait that is done without regard to whether it is beneficial to him, whether learned or inherent. He demonstrates humility and is gracious to others, and puts others before himself. Education, breeding and wealth are not necessary determinants of a gentleman; he is a man of character regardless of social status. It is said that a man's character is what he does when no one is watching. He keeps his temper and rarely loses it, and never in public. This is not to say that he must become a doormat, far from it. He is still expected to stand up for that which he believes.