Greetings Hermanos, Check the video below when you get a sec today. Tomorrow we’re gonna launch a 30-day journaling challenge to take us thru the harvest month of September. It’s been a fast paced summer full of distractions and outward action. Now with this challenge we come back around the fire and dial in again. This challenge, if you stick to it everyday, will provide you with more insight and data on yourself than any other time in your life. I created a workbook/google doc that has instructions and prompts for each phase (10 day phases). Comment on this thread your commitment and that you’re participating. This isn’t a fluffy kind of challenge with no accountability. If you say yes, you’re going to see it thru to the end and we’re gonna hold each accountable to this. Each phase will have a call for it (outside of the monthly council call). My prayer is every man here dives into this because this real Empirical evidence coming straight from you that will open up a lot of things in your psyche. You may see how good you got at lying to yourself and missing blind spots as I did for many years. You may uncover memories, you may really start to enjoy expressing yourself thru this, your soul/inner being might start really communicating with you, and YES a lot of resistance will show up as you go. I’ll post the workbook link as a comment under this post so you can start looking at it and thinking about what your death cookies will be for at least the first phase. At the end of each phase you’ll post on here as part of the accountability if you ate the cookies or not and why. You’ll bring info you gathered from your writing onto the phase call for each one. Let’s fckn GO🧙🏻‍♂️👊🏼

Last night I felt very uncomfortable with what I had shared. I’ve noticed lately that I am having a very difficult time articulating how I am feeling and just speaking in general. When I got off the call I knew that I needed to confront my negative feelings and resentments towards my partner's children and took Sean’s advice and let all the ugly come out. I wrote out 4 pages then proceeded to burn them all. I felt guilt come up and that I shouldn’t be thinking these things but I told myself all was allowed. I reminded myself that before this relationship, I was single with no responsibilities, living for myself and had a lot more spare time and that it has only been a year in this new role as a step-father and it has not been the easiest transition for everyone involved. I have also been off work for 7 months now, and my whole world feels like it has revolved around taking care of the kids and the home, a very huge contrast to my life before being laid off. I realized my old identity is dying and I must let it go. A part of me was not accepting my new role and feeling really resentful over it for losing my independence and freedom. I felt that if I take on this role fully that I will be giving up my goals, especially when it comes to creating a new career. But that’s just a story. I don’t want to have any part of me not in this fully anymore. I love my family and I choose them. I want to grow with them and be their grounded presence. What this looks like is more radical honesty and conversations with my partner. Asking for some alone time so I can work on my goals and reconnect with myself throughout the week. I haven’t really had any space for myself over the past few months and I’m starting to really feel it. We spoke about this this morning and it was well received. I’m having a me day on Sunday and will continue doing this. I also started waking up earlier this week before everyone else to have some space to exercise and practice breathwork. I noticed a significant improvement in my mood and in my energy, so that’s definitely something I want to maintain.

Greeting my brothers, checking in. I gave myself an actual vacation and time to completely disconnect last week. I never fucking do that! It felt amazing. I danced my tits off. I've had some big downloads I wanted to share with you. I wrote an article on my recent experience at the music festival I was at where these things really came in. In my ceremonies, my work with clients, retreats...After many years of death and rebirth experiences, I've refined more, created maps for, different ways of navigating when you find yourself in the hell realms or the "basement" of your consciousness. That place of survival mode, all the limiting beliefs, all the feelings of inadequacy, shame, guilt, etc... For us men right now, we have SO many identity deaths occurring because we have chosen to walk this path of becoming aware and desiring the embodied experience of true freedom within ourselves. This intention carries with it the fire of purification that must burn away everything we are not. It's easy to get caught in the trap of taking it personally or going into an unconscious victim mode thinking that life is somehow punishing you or working against you. When in truth it's actually answering your deepest prayer to be free. Free from the programming as children we inherited, free from the unresolved shit from our fathers/grandfathers/great grand dads/ancestors. It's the purge from survival to remembrance and creation. Beyond fear. Check out this article, I wrote it from deep in the heart space and from many years of being on this road. The road your heart leads you down when you're ready to remember again. https://open.substack.com/pub/seanpadraicgraves/p/i-found-my-inner-child-in-a-cage?r=2bq3ow&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

I want to take a moment to drop in here and share what’s been coming through. I’ve definitely been feeling the fire horse energy of 2026 this past week. Lots of old patterns rising to the surface, the mental overload and resistance to slowing down. When we find ourselves in these states, it’s so important to that we observe and listen to what’s going on and intentionally break the cycle in those moments. For me, the breath has always been that tool. Taking time to just pause, breathe and feel. Asking myself: what does little Chris need right now? P.S. I dropped this in my other Community feed but I’ll drop it here too. I just released a very powerful shamanic like breathwork journey called soul retrieval. My recommendation is taking an hour of these next few days to dive in. 🎧 Download Here P.S.S. Calling the brothers who haven’t shared much on here forward: @Anders Litzen @Mark Baker @Noah Sorensen @Diego Medina @Max Hachey Drop a line ⬇️

Greetings, brothers. I'm not the type of person who shares his life with a bunch of strangers online, but I want to open this with my current mental and emotional state. Apologies for grammatical errors and poor sentence structure — it's been a while since I wrote freestyle like this. I want you to examine my thoughts and call out my bullshit. Help me see something I'm avoiding. Here goes nothing. It's 12:36am. I dropped my son off with his mother at 6pm CST after one day with him, abiding the fucking court order. I fully enjoyed our time together. Going back into my house after — where he was playing, dancing, eating, sleeping, where his toys and clothes still are — is hard. The absence of his presence creates a void, and I'm scared of feeling it. It reminds me how shitty this part of my life is right now. So I sit in my car, watch YouTube, listen to Gene Keys. Find a way to escape, distract, numb myself from that void. I have other coping behaviors too — not healthy ones — that need their own dedicated space and time. Another note, another day. I know I'll see him again soon, but my attachment to my son is primal, deep. It's one of the hardest things to loosen my grip on, but I have to. Not in the sense of giving up on him — in the sense of trusting he'll be okay. My prayer to the Gods and the Universe: bless him, protect his soul, protect his life. May God lighten his path and his journey on this earth. I want to protect him, make sure he's okay, always — but at some point he has to learn his own way, with or without me. I can only do so much. According to fucking Carl Jung, my inner protector is trying to protect my inner child from the outside world. I'm projecting this shit everywhere. It's like my phone's autocorrect — a.k.a. "the protector" — thinks everything's incorrect and starts fixing it before I even asked. That old Swiss man said: "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate." Maybe he was onto something.