I don't want to die, I just wanted the pain to stop. No, the truth is I didn't consider dying,I just did know how to live. Nowhere to go back to, the only places I knew, Even the dead would not wish to return to. Times and places I had nowhere else to keep but inside. I didn't have a mother to hold me when the tears came to my eyes. Sixteen years old, not man enough to stop being a child. That's why I cried, I had to listen to my own cries washing pills down. It was late, sad blurred stars lit the sky, perhaps it was just my weeping eyes. Nothing to do with being alone, how could it be, As a child I spent life, even in company, isolated and alone. The truth is of course that none of these thoughts occurred to me, I just knew I didn't know how to live. That can't be learned on your own. I didn't rise that morning to a revelation, didn't construct mentally a plan. I took the first pill, by the third, fourth, fifth, six, I still didn't know it had begun. There was a warmth, the beginning of a solution leading to an end. Seven, eight, nine, numbers didn't linger in my mind. I had tried, really tried. I didn't just hide, I tried. I tried. I tried Only to discover, you can't cross into life when you don't know how to live. There isn't a bridge. I tried, I tried. Then like a child I cried, I tried, I tried, I tried. I tried Then I woke knowing, the day was new. The divine at least had heard my cries, And knew even if I didn't know how to live, I had tried. I really tried.

In the UK the Suicide Crisis line number is 116 123. 999 for life threatening danger calls.

The cost per gallon in the UK is the equivalent of $11.38. We pay per litre. It changed about 20 years ago. It was a tax con. Annual tax rise was originally applied to the gallon. Suddenly the same tax was applied per litre. Instead of a 10p increase in tax on fuel each year on the gallon. It was 10p per litre.. around 46p.