You get to be human, my man. You bust your ass and it doesn’t go unnoticed. I’m in. Sometimes my life gets noisy too and I can get distracted or overwhelmed, but I appreciate the opportunity to participate in this kind of self-reflection process with other men in an environment where support and discussion are welcome and encouraged

THAT is a genuine man who is not afraid of being who he is, and not hesitant to speak it in front of everyone else. Kick ass, James—you’ve got what it takes

After a major screwup in my marriage where my wife was basically fed up with some BS that I pulled, and separated herself from me for about seven weeks, I took that time to reprogram my foundation code, knowing what was expected of me and growing firmly in that direction with consistency and determination. When we got together again she was surprised to see the genuine changes in me, and after seeing them consistently she’s told me she’s forgiven me completely and that she loves me more than ever—because I made it clear that she was the most important person in my life and that my heart was hers always. She’s telling me that she loves me constantly now, instead of it just being me who was working toward rebuilding the relationship. She got her old, better paying job back, I helped her get a condo to rent near where we used to live (I did all the paperwork as her lawyer, scanned it all, sent it to the landlord and wrote a killer reference letter.) The landlord told her that any woman who has an ex-husband who loves her that much is welcome to rent that condo. We’re like we were when we first got together again and we are tighter than we were 15 years ago—she holds my hand in the car or when we walk down the street; tells me she loves me “ferociously” all over again. I am a different man and I intend to keep growing. She wants me to come stay with her in Florida every 4-6 weeks regularly so “we can miss each other and have a chance to grow together due to the distance.” She’s even mentioned getting re-married next year. Could have knocked me over with a feather. I haven’t had this level of peace and confidence since I can’t remember. It’s been heavenly, and I thank God every day.

@James Harper my prayers are with you, because you have a lot to deal with and I want you to know that people care about you and that you’re not alone.

I don’t stop moving and I start by making a list for the day. Anything for another day gets put in as a reminder in my iPhone calendars (they’re linked, so when I put it in any one they all get updated.)

Credit where it’s due, brother. My meeting up with you online was a catalyst in my taking charge of my life in a major way. I decided that I wasn’t going to be a passenger in my own life, I was gonna drive it.

I discovered that I have to change nearly all of my doctors because they are just across the state line in NC, but I live in Johnson City, Tennessee now—and even though a DEA permit is federal, NC doctors can’t legally write prescriptions for scheduled medications to be filled in a TN pharmacy. I’m going to have to get new doctors and that’s a ball buster. However, the only Level 1 Trauma Center in the entire tri-state area is right here, so I’m going to find some top-notch doctors here.

Thank you my brother