Gate Reminder: In week one, I noted that I am in the discovery stage of my gate(s). Those gates are: Family, the Church, the Marketplace, and Community. One that I did not mention was Watchman and I will touch on that one briefly at the end. Family: Within my family, there are a lot of things that need to be corrected. Both my parents were addicted to drugs during my childhood. I bounced between both of my grandmothers’ houses (mom and dad side) when it came to finding a place to lay my head. My mother’s mother had a relationship with a married man and my mother was rejected by his family and also treated as the black sheep on her mother’s side. Drugs and alcohol became her comfort. My dad’s father was never really around during his childhood or his adult life. I remember him having a lot of resentment and hatred towards his dad. My dad could read the Bible with his eyes closed, it seemed like, but he hid behind his addictions. I never understood it as a child, but I knew it was wrong. When I graduated high school, I left for college and determined that I was not going to lay eyes on my father again until I was coming home for his funeral. After thirteen years of not talking to Him, the Lord dealt with me mightily in that situation. After a lot of crying out, repenting, and asking my Father and my father for forgiveness, it is a relationship that has been on the mend for three years now. When I left for college, I had a lot of anger within me. Regardless of having an academic and football scholarship, I was not happy within. I thought joining the Marine Corps would allow me to get rid of the anger in a “legal way”, but life changed me in so many ways. My mother and my older brother (who was gang banging and in and out of jail) constantly called me for financial support. I gave in because I wanted to make them happy and have them in my life. Not to mention, there was about a seven to eight year span when I didn’t know whether my mother was dead or alive. So having her resurface was something I desired to hold on to. This past weekend everyone came home for the funeral of my aunt, my mother’s youngest sister. My home became the gathering place for everyone while my wife and I did our best to be wonderful hosts to the family. To be honest, I did not even want to be involved with my family. I wanted to go to the funeral, pay my respects, and go home. I kept thinking, “Lord, I have been focusing on You. My wife and I are moving in the right direction according to your will for our lives. Why is all this happening now? Why am I feeling emotions that I haven’t felt in a long time? Why now?” The Lord told me that this would be a time where I would gain understanding of a lot of things that have happened in my life on my mother’s side. It was also a time to heal and let go of some things that were hindering me from advancing in the calling upon my life. My mother, my brother, and I slept under the same roof for the first time since 1997 (ish). But upon serving and being a host to my family, I saw the strongholds that were upon them. I saw almost everyone older than me oppressed by one thing or multiple. I watched my family through the eyes of God it seemed like. It was like watching the children of Israel rebel against God and being placed under curses for the things they did or by acts of our ancestors. I know that I am the one in my family to break those strongholds and generational curses. I now know that I am to stand in the gap on their behalf. I believe the breach in this gate happened due to my emotions linked to childhood trauma and an absence of accountability. I know that I may never receive answers for half the things that I experienced or saw and I am now okay with that. I am okay because I know that I cannot operate in emotion, in that aspect, because God is not moved by emotions. To restore order to this gate is going to require a lot of praying, fasting, spiritual warfare, and accessing the Courts of Heaven.

@Ralphael Robinson I sense that God is asking me to focus on the watchman function. It is the foundation of many things that God has for me to do, I believe. I can establish consistency by continuing to push beyond the comfort level and going deeper in prayer and worship and focusing on doing a deeper study on the watchmen in the Bible. I also started reading your book, Word Based Prayer, and Holy Spirit said clear as day, “Pray the words you have read. Read the words you have prayed. Pray, read, and seek My Face.” And I knew that was instructions not only when I’m reading the books of a wise man of God, but also when I’m in the Word, taking notes, and meditating on His Word(s).

As I sit and ponder on the gates that God has authorized me to influence, I begin to think to myself, “I know I am called, but who am I?” So now I reflect on the things I've felt since childhood and the things that God has shown me and allowed me to experience thus far. I have a desire to see my family saved and to see generational strongholds torn down and curses broken. I have a desire to see the church operating according to God’s Word and structure versus seeing His people entangled in religion. I have always been a hard worker and have worked myself up into leadership positions wherever I go. I enjoy teaching others and leading by example by doing the work that I expect of others, but outworking them in the process. I desire to run my own business so that I can hire people that look like me and teach them the things I've learned while also growing alongside them and incorporating the word of God into their lives. As I look within my community on a daily basis, I yearn for them to be who God has called them to be. I desire for the strongholds to be torn down in this region, chains to be broken in families, and for Judah to awaken. Being an employee of the local government, I find myself voicing how I feel about the way it is run, the things that are wrong, and the things that don’t align with what I know it can and shall and will be. History says that we as a people aren’t supposed to operate outside of the parameters set for us by those who don’t look like us, but I have a strong desire to shatter those parameters because I know who God says we’re called to be. As I reflect on a few of these things, I know that I need training and understanding of operating in the gift efficiently, being effective in all the things that God has for me to do. I know that I need training and mentoring when it comes to spiritual warfare and learning how to war in the spirit against the things that have dominated this region for generations. Although I have many desires, I look forward to the mentorship, teachings, and growth that is to come from this course and beyond.