I’ve been thinking about identity a lot lately. How much of who we think we are is tied to a job, a role, or something that happened in our lives. For most of my adult life I was an electrician. A tradesman. That was a huge part of who I was. Then I became a dad and that changed me. Being a dad became such a big part of my identity that some of the other parts of me took a back seat. Even being a husband if I’m being truthful about it. And it got me thinking about how easy it is for us to decide “this is who I am” and just stay there. What if there’s more? What if you need to go do some shit you’ve never done before? Get uncomfortable. Meet different people. Learn something. Fail at something. Find something that gets you fired up again. I think there’s something pretty damn powerful about being around other men doing the same thing. We don’t need to be chasing the same goals. We just need to be chasing something. That’s what I want to get into Saturday morning on our Coffee & Clarity call. What have you tied your identity to? And maybe more importantly, who else could you become?

We had such a good conversation on Coffee & Clarity this morning that we never even got to the topic I had planned. So I’m bringing it here instead. I’ve been thinking a lot about how easy it is to live on autopilot. We wake up, check the phone, get to work, deal with whatever is on fire, come home tired, eat, scroll a bit, go to bed and do it all over again. That’s normal life sometimes. The problem is when sometimes turns into months. We all say certain things matter to us. Our marriage. Our kids. Our health. Our friendships. The things we want to build. But here’s the question I keep coming back to: If somebody watched how you spent the last seven days without hearing you explain yourself, what would they think mattered most to you? That can be a hard one to answer. Maybe you say your health matters, but you’ve skipped every workout, eaten like shit all week and stayed up too late scrolling. Maybe you say your relationship matters, but your partner has been getting whatever energy you have left after work. Maybe you say being a present dad matters, but every time your kid asks you something, you’re half listening while looking at your phone. That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It just means there might be a gap between what you say matters and where your attention is actually going. So here’s what I want to know: Where in your life have you been running on autopilot lately, and what is one intentional choice you can make this week to change it? An answer could be as simple as: “I’ve been bringing work home with me every night and barely being present with my family. This week I’m leaving my phone in the kitchen for the first hour after I get home.” Nothing massive. Nothing performative. Just one area where you know you could be more deliberate. Drop yours below. I’m curious where this lands for everyone.