Click to see video: https://assets.cdn.filesafe.space/SlkcdG2lOTl3UZI2zWxK/media/6aa3028b8f6a930b7d1ea579.mp4 When she first came to me, she used four words for how she felt inside: Discombobulated. Defeated. Overwhelmed. Exhausted. Listen to how she describes it now: "Liberating. Freeing. Life-changing." And what changed first wasn't a new routine. It was finally having a space where she could say the hard thing out loud without being judged, without being looked down on, and without anyone expecting her to be perfect. That's where it starts. Safety first. Then change. Mama, if you're the one holding it all together, I see you. You're the one who: ↳ answers "I'm good, just tired!" at pickup because the real answer feels like too much ↳ snaps at your kids over spilled milk, then lies awake replaying it ↳ knows exactly what you should be doing (the breathwork, the boundaries, the bedtime) but can't reach any of it at 6pm when everything is happening at once ↳ is everyone's safe place, but can't remember the last time you felt safe enough to fall apart That isn't a willpower problem. It's a nervous system that has been running in survival gear for so long that grace feels out of reach, for yourself and for everyone else. Here's what she said rewiring her nervous system gave her: more grace, not only for myself but for others. She felt the shift in her body, not just her head. And she learned something most of us were never taught: that she's allowed to have support. This is what we do inside the group. Not one more thing to fix about yourself. A way back to yourself, with women who get it, so you stop carrying all of it alone. If you read her words and felt something in your chest, that's your whisper. Don't ignore it. 👉 Book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/melissasonners/1-1-call-with-dr-melissa-sonners

This 5 step FORMULA and process can be used anytime you experience those not so fun moments that pull you from your center. In our recent group call I explained these fork in the road moments where we want to CHOOSE to respond a new and different way. Here is a PDF of the step by step formula to use to help RESPOND from a grounded place as we exert boundaries, speak up for what's right, stand up to someone that normally would bulldoze over us and everything in between. Drop your questions, stories, how/when you use it and how it went here. We do this together!

Definitely not my fave moment… but in EVERY challenge, the walk through is the same and eventually it just becomes engrained. Here is the 5 step formula and how I used it in this situation. The goal is not to elimate stress, but to shorten refractory period. To insert a circuit breaker between signal/stressful event + the story we create that keeps our body in survival mode. This allows us to get back to present time, connection and grounded choices efficiently. 1. Awareness - oh shit… stucco is coming through our cieling and all over our shoes… ZOOM OUT… this feels intense, not ideal with my schedule today, I’m feeling compressed and a bit like Why does this stuff keep happening (Victim mindset) - look at me going into victim mode 2. PAUSE - insert a tool. I did a 4 count inhale, 8 exhale with hum three times. 3. Choice- I can choose to let this ruin my day (sometimes I do and that would have been fully ok- to sit with it, feel it, rage and let it out - workout, scream into pillow etc) but in this moment I wanted to choose PEACE and EASE. I left it. I decided to ignore it for the moment, continue with my packed day and deal with it later and ultimately it would pass. 4. PRACTICE - reminded myself this is a practice, im not going for perfection and as long as I put the reps in (go through each of these steps) that I am doing the work and the work is working. It accumulates. 5. Integrate - took a few mins that evening to go over it in my mind. What was annoying about it, what thoughts came up (resentment, lack of communication with our crew etc) and to allow myself to feel it all, express it all and ask what did I learn. This literally took all of three minutes. THIS is how we do it ladies. This is TRUE self care. Self care needs a rebrand. It’s NOT something outside of us. It’s the ability to DOWNSHIFT our system and reconnect in ANY moment. Thats an inside job and thats what were all doing here. What is your latest “opportunity” (challenge) where you were able to use what you’ve learned here? I’d love to hear! Reminder, it didnt need to go perfectly… share the practice of getting better and better each time <3