User
Write something
Pinned
Welcome to Kettle & Candle School .....Live well. Plan well. Die well.
Put the kettle on. 😉 You made it here, and that already tells me something important: you’re willing to look at the parts of life most people avoid—death, grief, aging, endings—and you’d rather not do that alone. 👥This space is for people who feel the tug of questions like: - What do I want to do with the time I have left? - How do I carry my grief and still live? - How do I prepare—practically and emotionally—so I don’t leave a mess behind? Here, we talk honestly about living and dying, love and loss, plans and paperwork, spirit and practicality. We make room for both the kettle (conversation, comfort, everyday life) and the candle (mortality, memory, sacredness of our limited time). 👉How this community works: You’ll see different programs and posts here—like 365 — A Year To Live and Advanced Care Planning—but underneath it all is the same heartbeat: - Tell the truth about life and death. - Learn together, not alone. - Take small, brave steps toward living and dying in alignment with your values. -  You are welcome to come exactly as you are: curious, scared, hopeful, tired, grieving, unsure, or all of the above. 🙌Introduce yourself (in a way that actually matters) When you’re ready, say hello in the comments below. You can answer any of these prompts—just what feels right: 1. What season of life are you in right now, in a few words? (Examples: “Midlife and re-evaluating everything,” “Fresh in grief,” “Caregiver mode,” “Aging and taking stock.”) 2. What quietly brought you to Kettle & Candle? A loss, a diagnosis, a birthday, a near-miss, a deep curiosity, a professional calling? 3. When you think about death, grief, or aging, what feeling shows up first? (No need to be poetic. “Terrified,” “numb,” “relieved to finally talk about it” all count.) 4. What is one hope you have for yourself in this space over the next year? (Big or small: “Get my paperwork started,” “Not feel so alone,” “Make peace with a part of my story,” etc.) 5. Is there a small comfort or ritual that helps you feel grounded lately? (Tea, walking, gardening, journaling, music, prayer, sitting in the sunshine…)
Pinned
Kettle & Candle on Skool – Community Guidelines
This is a community for honest, tender conversations about life, death, grief, and legacy. To keep it safe and usable for everyone, we agree to the following: 👉1. Lead with kindness and respect - No harassment, bullying, shaming, or personal attacks. - No hate speech or discrimination of any kind (race, gender, sexuality, religion, politics, age, ability, etc.). - Disagree with ideas, not with people. 👉2. Confidentiality is sacred - What is shared here, stays here. - Do not share someone else’s story, screenshots, or posts outside the community without explicit permission. - Remove identifying details if you’re sharing an example in a teaching context. 👉3. This is not medical, legal, financial, or mental health advice - Nothing in this community replaces professional medical, legal, financial, or mental health care. - You may share your experience (“What helped me was…”), but do not tell others what they must do. - Do not diagnose, prescribe, or offer step-by-step instructions for treatment, medications, or legal actions. 👉4. Crisis and safety - This community is not a crisis service. - If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or thinking about harming themselves or others, contact local emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area right away. - You may say, “I’m having a hard time,” but please avoid graphic details of self-harm, suicide, or violence. 👉5. Speak from your own experience - Use “I” language. Share your own story, beliefs, and questions. - We honor many spiritual, religious, and philosophical perspectives here. - No preaching, converting, or insisting that your belief is the only “right” way. 👉6. Gentle with the details - We talk about death, dying, and grief—but we don’t need gore. - Avoid graphic medical descriptions, violent detail, or anything likely to be traumatizing. - When in doubt, keep it simple and respectful. 👉7. Boundaries, DMs, and emotional labor - Do not pressure other members for 1:1 support, therapy, or “fixing.” - Ask before moving a conversation into private messages. - If you are a professional (therapist, doula, attorney, etc.), do not solicit clients or give individualized professional advice here.
Pinned
“How to Use Category Space
🚀Welcome & Announcements: This is our bulletin board for key updates, dates, and links. Only hosts post here; you’re welcome to comment or ask questions. 🚀Pull Up a Chair: Introduce yourself and share what brought you here. Tell us as much or as little of your story as feels right in this season. 🚀365 Journey Reflections For members in the 365 “Year to Live” journey. Post check-ins, journal sparks, questions, and “aha” moments from the work. 🚀ACP Questions & Wins Anything about advance care planning lives here—forms, wording, decisions, and next steps. Ask for help and celebrate every small win. 🚀Fireside Chat & Support An open circle for real talk about life, death, grief, caregiving, and love. Bring your questions, stories, and gentle support for others. 🚀Help Desk: Tech & Housekeeping Stuck on SKOOL or can’t find a link or replay? Ask here. Tech glitches, access issues, and “where do I click?” questions belong in this space.
13
0
We are designed to be in relationships
As we’ve seen, God designed us to be in relationship with himself and with people. Whether we prioritize relationships over success has an impact on our physical health. The Harvard Study of Adult Development is the longest study of human happiness ever conducted, nearly eighty-five years of data. What it set out to answer was simple: what makes a good life? The answer wasn't income, achievement, or status. In fact, people who pursued those goals often ended up much less happy than others. The key to happiness? The quality of your relationships. Full stop. Study participant John Marden chose a high-success career path in law. A classmate of his, Leo DeMarco, conversely gave up his dream of writing when his father died, and his mother fell ill. He moved back home to Vermont, married, taught high school, and quietly raised four daughters. He chose relationships over riches, people over profit. When both men were fifty-five, they answered the same questionnaire. John—despite his accomplishments—said life had more pain than pleasure and that he felt starved for affection. His first marriage broke up years earlier, thanks, in part, to his workaholism, and his relationship with his adult children was never the same after. He later remarried, at age sixty-two, and, in a later survey, described that relationship as "loveless." Leo—living a much more modest life than might have been the case had he pursued a high-paying career—said the opposite: Life was good, and he felt deeply loved. Leo's wife and kids adored him, and he had many friends. As the economy and culture continue to shift, we’re reminded once again of what actually matters most. REFLECTION QUESTION Looking at how you actually spend your time, what is receiving your best energy right now: your career, your platform, or people? PRAYER God, I don't want to arrive at the end and realize I optimized for the wrong things. Reorient me toward what actually lasts. Amen. **Taken from YouVersion And the devotional entitled StillHuman. This devotional talks about us being human in this AI generation,**
Life/Death and Guilt
Life has honestly kicking my butt for the last couple of years and I’m working on being okay. In July my hubby got sick and we spent most of July in the hospital. There was a moment in his hallucinations that he was speaking to the lady in the corner of room. His vitals dropped after he told me about the woman in the corner. The room was swarmed by doctors and nurses and he was stabilized. It was the first time I ever thought of what my life would be without him. Later, while still in the hospital he told me he had a dream that his Grandma Skarda came to him in his dreams. He told me Grandma told him that it wasn’t his time yet. He’s home now and doing a bit better thank God. He started walking without a walker a few weeks ago. During his at home recovery I received a phone call his step sister that his mom was sick and we might want to head that way. The family is very estranged and the steps are causing all sorts of problems. Tom’s mom was the queen bee of narcissists and threw people away like you’d throw away leftovers after a few weeks. She died when Tom and my 6 year old grandson were with her. I thank God for that. When I got to the room Tom was just sitting in a chair repeatedly saying “I never really knew my mom.” It broke my heart to her him say that. Her birthday was a few days ago and Tom’s was yesterday. I feel guilty bc I was excited that I didn’t have to dread the phone ringing anymore. That I am actually relieved that she has passed. I’m learning more and more that you can really love someone from a distance. That realization has been gut wrenching for me bc my family is so close. Am I a bad person for not really mourning Tom’s mom?
1-30 of 115
Kettle & Candle
skool.com/kettle-and-candle-1934
Kettle and Candle is where we pour tea, name our grief, and light the way to living, loving, and leaving with intention—together.
Leaderboard (30-day)
Powered by