This was a question in The Remarkable Man Newsletter on LinkedIn and I thought you might relate to this. I know I did. Question: "Coach, I've gone quiet at home. Whatever I do, it's wrong. The dishes, the parenting, the way I answered a question, all of it. So I stopped engaging. I go cold, I keep my answers short, and I spend more time in the garage or at the office than I need to. Honestly, I think I'm just protecting my peace. She says I've checked out. I say I'm done being the bad guy. Is going silent really so bad if I'm just tired of losing?" - Norman S. Answer: Brother, I'm going to start by saying I know exactly where you're standing, because I've stood there myself. I know the fatigue of feeling like nothing you do lands right, and I know how convincing the silence feels from the inside. It feels like strength. It feels like you're finally putting a boundary in place. It isn't, because the resentment smoulders. And I care too much about you and your marriage to pretend otherwise. Call It For What It Is Going cold is not a boundary. It's a withdrawal. A boundary says, "Here is what I will and won't accept, and here is what I'm going to do about it." Silence says nothing at all. It leaves her guessing, and it leaves you with the story that you're the one who has been wronged. That story is where the trouble sits. When you decide you're done being wrong, you quietly hand your power to the very person you feel powerless against. You have made her behaviour the author of your behaviour. That is victim energy, even when it wears the costume of a calm, composed man who just doesn't engage anymore. You said you're protecting your peace. Look closely at what that peace costs. Silence doesn't protect a marriage, it starves it. Every night you stay cold, she learns that reaching for you gets her nothing, and she either pushes harder or she stops reaching altogether. Either way, the distance grows. Why Good Men Go Quiet Most men who end up here are not lazy or unfeeling. They are usually conscientious men who hate failing. When they feel like they are failing at home no matter how hard they try, the nervous system picks the fastest exit from the pain, and that exit is shutting down.

Brother, I'm sure you've watched a few videos and maybe even throw in a prompt of two to AI to give you the secret sauce on changing the calibre of your relationship or your life. Yes, by now you know the distinction from being the "Nice Guy" and being a "Good Man". However, most "Good Men" men are still finding themselves struggling in the friend zone or in a relationship that lacks passion and sexual fire. This all comes down to a couple of factors: 1. Edge! Yes, your ability to be decisive, unpredictable, and able to communicate your values and boundaries without being a dick about it. When a man is able to hold his frame from this place, there's the secret catalyst that changes everything: 1. Respect! Once she respects you, desire is assured. That desire creates the sexual polarity you both crave. When this happens you are "The Bad Boy" with heart in her eyes. You can be a good man until you are blue in the face, but you'll lose the essence of the man you are in the process. Being a good man with an edge, well that's the fuel for attraction. That's the essence of a Remarkable Man! You've got this! Be Remarkable! Coach Dwayne What are your thoughts? Leave a comment.