LOOKING FOR FEAR · THE RELEVANT HUMAN

Veronica Lees-Amato

7d • General discussion

LOOKING FOR FEAR

After 40 years on stage, I had a problem.

I wasn't scared anymore.

No nerves. No butterflies. No shaky hands before I walked out. Some people would call that mastery. I called it numb.

I felt flat. Bored. Stuck. Like the thing I believe is my gift had gone quiet inside me.

So I went looking for fear.

I asked myself one question: what's the most terrifying thing I can imagine doing? The answer came fast. Stand-up comedy.

So I signed up for a course. The graduation was a "tight 5": five minutes, one microphone, a room full of strangers, and nowhere to hide.

And there it was. The fear. I became the scared little girl again. Heart pounding. Wanting to run. You might think that I look confident, because you will compare me with if you had to do it - but the truth was - I was terrified, wanting to burst into tears, and feeling absolutely raw and vulnerable.

But this time I knew something young V didn't. If I pushed through, I'd come out the other side stronger. More resilient. With a new skill in my pocket. But I had to do it! I kept thinking to myself "how will you feel tomorrow if you don't do this?" I don't want to stand still anymore - I need to keep moving - even through fear.

Here's what I didn't expect.

Comedy was always my hiding place. When I felt unsure or embarrassed, I made a joke. Make them laugh, and they won't look too closely at you.

On that stage, the joke couldn't hide me anymore. It had to show me.

That's what fear gave back to me. My heart. And a clearer look at myself.

Here's the research: your body can't tell the difference between scared and excited. Same racing heart. Same sweaty hands. You get to choose the word.

I'm sharing this video because I believe growth is only real when it's witnessed. Doing it in private wasn't enough. I want you to see it. I have published it publically today on Youtube for the first time.

So here I am. Not polished. Not perfect. Just in it.

Now it's your turn.

What's the fear you've been walking around? What would you have to do to push through it. Tell me in the comments. Say it out loud. Let us witness it.

You're not too old. You're just scared.

It's Good. That means you're still alive.

— V

https://youtu.be/T3ZRI3V08bE?si=V9VkXPjCiznr63M8

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LOOKING FOR FEAR