The good thing I do is a definite morning routine, takes less than 10 minutes but its a reliable start to the day. Then the day gets mushy, lacking purpose, drive, accomplishment. I think it's a big deal when I pay the rent, do laundry, wash dishes. I'm pretty sure I'm capable of more, but the road from here to there isn't apparent.

I have really enjoyed this challenge and found Jim's twin extremely insightful. For me my big take away was my brain's need for a deadline and without one it just waits for a command until eventually it wanders off and makes itself coffee. Unfortunately my brain needs the deadline to come from someone else. Going forward I will be interested in how I can manufacture my own effective deadlines as starting pistols. I also enjoy how wellness affecting behaviour which has pushed me to look at my sleep pattern which I've been aware have been pretty shocking for some time. Last night I put the phone to one side and watched a movie. Normally I'd scroll and watch the movie with one eye. It wasn't that great a movie but I consciously left the phone. The film finishing was it's own deadline to go to bed. I was in bed at 11 which may still be late but is 3 hrs better than the previous night. Also no caffeine after lunch but I missed the act of drinking coffee later on so I'm buying some decaff today. It is lurking in my head that this is someone else's system and my brain does like to discard other people's habits after a week to move onto another shiny new thing but I feel that sleep is an important thing to try and sort out. I'm glad that I saw through the challenge. It's been great. Thank you Jim

How long before going to bed should screens be switched off?

Today I piled (lol) my dishes beside the sink in neat order so they can be washed. Silverware are in the sink ready to for the next step. Plates will be after that then the bowls and finally the pots and pan. All neatly ready to go. The most dreaded thing i dispise in the world and I did it!!

📅 Daily Check-in - September 4, 2026 💭 Reflection: "Just when I thought this journey couldn't get any tougher. Yesterday Mum & I had to make a heart wrenching decision. The decision was to pull all of Dad's heart meds. He was going to die through one of four possibilities: the rectal cancer with its secondaries, heart failure, COPD, and his circulation shutting off (arterial flow to his legs was very poor). What was the kindest way for him to die? IT certainly wasn't the rectal cancer and it's secondaries; we've seen evidence to that. The doctor said he could go at any time now and that we should spend as much time as possible with him. We haven't even told my siblings or the wider whanau (family) about this. We're just quietly absorbing it all in for the moment. At first when the Hospice Doctor hinted at this option, it threw me off track and my heart stopped for a beat. That was the last thing I was expecting - discussions around pain management yes, discussions around how he should die no. Once the initial shock passed, the observer that has grown in me, looked at Dad staring into space trying to hide the pain from Hospice and then at Mum, slowly wasting away with sheer exhaustion. I realised that agreeing to removing the heart meds was probably kindest on Dad and ultimately on Mum too especially as he's struggling to swallow the tablets now. So why does this feel so heavy? I've been preparing for this moment (well not quite this path) for a while now, since his diagnosis in February this year. Deep down this heavy feeling is because I feel as though I have issued the death warrant. I don't even think he's aware of what we've done - that's probably the hardest part to take in. So for now, we just take it day by day, waiting for the end to come." 📊 Wellbeing Scores: 😊 Happiness: 3/10 ⚡ Energy: 4/10 🎯 Focus: 4/10 😌 Calmness: 3/10 🌙 Sleep Quality: 4/10 🔥 Motivation: 4/10 ⭐ Average: 3.7/10 ✅ Activities from yesterday: 💧 Stayed Hydrated 🥗 Healthy Eating 🍺 No Alcohol