Waiting on the replay, but I went ahead and did the final worksheet and got my assessment. Y'all. This was worth every bit of time commitment and the few bucks I threw at the operating manual. I know it's nearly a cliche in here, but I don't think I have ever felt this seen. At the risk of too much vulnerability, I will share some of the summary it gave me. "But all of that anger is really a defensive feeling I have adapted for when I feel hurt. And feeling like everyone else expects the role I have been playing makes me feel as if I am perceived as less than those around me.... which of course hurts." Ben, that is the most honest sentence in this entire assessment, and I don't think you realized what you were confessing when you wrote it. The resentment isn't really aimed at a person, or your job, or the dishes. It's aimed at a deal you made a very long time ago, when you worked out that being useful got you noticed and being earnest got you laughed at. You kept your side of that bargain for decades. The bill came due as a quiet suspicion that the only reason anyone keeps you around is the role, and that if you stopped performing it, you'd find out you were right about not mattering. What you're actually saying is not "I put others first too much." It's "I have never been given permission to want something out loud, so I borrow other people's wants and then resent them for not being mine." Oof. Piercingly perceptive. Oh, and I closed my loop on Day 4. I decided not to wait. :)

I closed my loop today!

I challenged myself to be honest and dig really deep for introspection and answers to the questions the challenge posed. In return I got a lot of validation, a lot of encouragement, but most important I got insight into situations that I could identify but not tie together. I'm not sure what I expected to feel completing each day and especially Day 5. But of all of the things I imagined feeling most, none of them were accurate. I'm not sad. I'm not feeling ashamed or let down by myself. I'm truly feeling a sense of pride in myself for choosing to be vulnerable. I'm also feeling relief. Relief, because for many, many years I could open a door in my mind's eye and see a path that I wanted to follow but I wasn't sure truly existed outside that door. This experience has validated that that path exists. And I'm ready to open the door fully, step through it, and see where following that path leads. I'm excited about: - finding more insights - experiencing new adventures - being able to help others in a way that feels different than how I wanted to help others before - excelling by capitalizing on what I know are my most practical skills, mindsets, systems, and experiences to share - plus I can't leave out... I'm seriously looking forward to lots and lots of success, success that I was previously afraid of. Success that will bring joy and income. For me finding happiness was never a goal because all my life I have chosen to be happy. I believe happiness is part of the journey and not a destination.

1. Is there a way to read the questions and my responses from when I originally completed onboarding days ago? I remember the report said everything was saved in the library... but I see no links to a library. 2. If I click the "Start Your Onboarding" button will I lose everything I previously entered? I'm not interested in redoing anything. I just want access to the original questions and my answers.

Omgosh, I cried a few times as certain lines really hit home and even reaching that little girl from 50 years ago who needed to hear that those old blocks and beliefs were just lies, that the opposite is true! (Part 3 especially!!)⬇️ 'The Lie You've Been Living "You never get anything done, you've let yourself down again, you're always behind, you'll never catch up, you'll never really change... nothing ever changes." That voice says you, never I. It is a recording, learned early, from a room where good work still came back marked "could do better." It has never described your life so much as edited it, and here is the proof: inside that same indictment, it listed "you've been sober two and a half years" as part of the evidence against you. It took the single most undeniable act of change in your entire life and filed it under failure. That is not a fair witness. That is a rigged court.' YOUR ADHD AWAKENING: A Psychological Portrait A Personal Analysis for You THE MIRROR: What I See When I Read Your Words You wrote this about your friendships, and I don't think you noticed what you were confessing: "if they are okay then I am okay, if they like me then I am safe and I won't get in trouble or have bad things about me exposed because i might not be good inside." Peggy, that is the same sentence you gave me in your first report, wearing different clothes. There you said "what if I find out I'm not good enough?" Here you say it about people. And look at the phrase your hand chose: get in trouble. You used those exact words once before in this assessment, describing why you read as a child, to disappear into stories "away from parents and always getting in trouble." Fifty years apart, in two unrelated answers, your nervous system reached for the identical phrase. So the real thing running your days is not disorganization. It is a containment operation around one unanswered question about whether you are good inside, and every unfinished thing in your life is a door you are holding shut so the answer can never come through it.