Nobody ever taught me to care about my skin. I grew up lower middle class in the USA and in a shop, working on engines by the time I was four (yes a four year old can be kept busy disassembling carborartors). Rough hands meant you worked. Rough, at least a little rough... showed you were a man. You could be trusted. The first time I used moisturizer on my hands, I was 38 or 39. It had Dead Sea salts and made my hands soft and a little oily. I was horrified. I honestly thought people would not trust me. That sounds insane now, but that was how I was raised. The strange part is that I spent my adult life in tech and sales. I wore a suit far more than shop clothes. Eventually, I grew past that thinking. I grew up. I realized this is how those in the know kept down those who are not, by choice or by accident, who knows. I just know in my family: I was not educated on skin care for men. There is a reason people with money have traditionally looked younger while poor people often looked older. Money buys products, information, doctors and the chance to prevent damage early. The wealthier or the higher classes dhare It also makes caring for yourself feel normal instead of weak. Now my routine is: For my face and neck routine: ELEMIS Pro-Collagen Marine Moisture Essence, Marine Oil and Marine Cream SPF 30. For my eye routine: ELEMIS Pro-Collagen Eye Revive Mask or Kiehl’s Age Defender Eye Repair. Now I am old and balding these days. So for my scalp and outer ears routine: Supergoop Unseen Sunscreen SPF 50 every morning. At night, Clinique Even Better Clinical Dark Spot Clearing Serum on the discoloration (scalp only). For beardruff and flaky ears my beard, mustache and dry outer ears: Cliganic Organic Jojoba Oil rubbed into damp beard and dry ears. Yeah, it is a lot. The 38-year-old me would have thought this was insane. The nearly 53-year-old me knows better. I wish i had started earlier. If you grew up like me, consider if you were taught or not taught that a man needs skin care. Or more importantly: learn about it.

I need help buying shirts-specifically the shoulders. How does one judge the shoulder width on a shirt bought mail-order? Large is too large me me (usually), but Medium is too small in the chest. When I pay attention to such things, I notice I rarely get it right. How do you select the right size shirt when ordering online?

I found these (didn’t buy them) and I wasn’t expecting to see these. I bought a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes for my wife last Christmas. I didn’t know, until today, they made shoes for men as well, including the characteristic red soles.

The older I get, the more I find myself thinking about how much of life is shaped by the choices we make. Not just the big choices. The small ones too. How we start the day. How we respond when something does not go our way. How we treat people. How we take care of ourselves. How we present ourselves. What we give our attention to. What we allow to influence us. Even choosing not to decide is still, in its own way, a choice. I think that realization has made me much more intentional about the life I want to live. I choose gratitude. I choose to look for reasons to be happy. I choose contentment — not because I have stopped growing or learning, but because I do not want my happiness to depend on constantly chasing something else. I choose to keep improving while still appreciating who I am today. I choose to take care in how I dress and present myself because it reflects the standard I want to hold myself to. And that includes the little things too. I choose to be well groomed. I choose to take care of my skin and moisturize. I choose a fragrance because I enjoy smelling good and because, to me, that is simply another part of presenting myself with care. None of those things are about vanity. They are about stewardship. Taking care of myself. Taking pride in the details. And showing up in a way that feels consistent with who I want to be. I also choose to be available to other people. To encourage. To help. To mentor when I can. To share what I have learned while respecting that everyone else is on their own journey. That may be one of the most important choices of all. Because whatever experience, knowledge, confidence, or perspective we gain along the way means more, at least to me, when we can use some of it to help somebody else. And perhaps just as importantly, I choose not to let every outside opinion carry the same weight. That does not mean I am unwilling to listen. Quite the opposite. I hope I am always willing to learn, reconsider, and improve.

It's that time of the month again. Trying out my new (to me) shoes. Oatmeal Brooks Brothers linen shirt with glen-check pattern Dark-wash Levi's and tan Anson belt with silver buckle Taupe Brooks Brothers/Peal & Co. suede derbies and navy socks with stars Navy linen flat cap Tissot Carson watch Fragrance: Jaguar For Men Ultimate Power