So often when couples come to me, they are having a lot of conflict. When we break it down though, they aren't arguing about the same things. The problem is never the problem. The problem is deeper than the problem and most of the time, that deeper problem comes down to what things mean. So when you're arguing about money, it's not actually about money. It's about freedom, power, respect, or safety. When you're arguing about how they didn't send a text, it's not about the text. It's about consideration and respect. I've developed a list of words that couples rarely break down and talk about before they are married. What do these words mean to you? What do they look like or sound like? What about in different circumstances? Does the meaning change depending on the situation? Today's challenge is going to take you a few days or maybe even a couple of weeks to get through but I want you to go through these words and define them together with your partner. This tool is usually given to clients in their second session with me and I'll tell you this- when couples are still arguing in session 10, I will ask them if they did this exercise and 10/10 times they say no. If they HAVE done this exercise and done it thoroughly, the arguing stops or at the very least, vastly decreases! Don't try to convince them why they're wrong and you're right. Don't try to create an argument out of it. That's ego remember! No, instead, I just want you to listen to understand them. Listen to really see how their mind works and accept it as it is. If you have wildly different viewpoints, you may have just figured out the source of all your arguments but instead of bickering about it, I want you to see if you can mesh the two ideas together to create something new that works for both of you and your family. Also, don't forget that I have only TWO open spots for couples coaching and two open spots for individual coaching as well. Send me an email at [email protected] for more info on those. These are the types of tools you'll get in every single session when you work with me!

Today is all about repair! Check out the video here! https://www.skool.com/married-connected-4920/classroom/57650aa0?md=16abd4ec19224dd481a4769465c2d1a0

I have been with my partner for 6 six years. I’m not sure what I love about married life.

This one is not mine but it was definitely one of the biggest game changers for myself when I just couldn't see my husband the way I needed to. I was stuck in self, stuck in resentment, anger, bitterness and we hadn't repaired. This is the tool that got me out of that, in addition to getting coaching for myself! If you have a hard time adding to this- it's because your heart is hard, bitter, and unforgiving. I know...I was there too. But once I really started down this road and made it a goal to add at least 1 thing per day, that's when the shift really started showing up. This is also the one tool that I go back to after discord to help me get back into humility, love, compassion and gratitude the fastest. https://www.skool.com/married-connected-4920/classroom/57650aa0?md=6ffedc669d194f24b9f6b8c63eee6d99