Nothing changes · Not Knowing

Nothing changes

I'm in a situation that has activated my mind and survival (fear) since June. It has been challenging as the sensations and thoughts have been so strong. I have had to just be with them as is - no truth seeking or what they are has been possible, and in this situation I would just have used it to get rid of the uncomfortable sensations, not as an honest search for it.

Two insights have come.

1) I could be calm and do my life in a sane way even though the situation is regarded negative. Why is it that I have to fall apart because of a situation? I could have the situation and be whatever I want - the situation is the same if I'm this or that. Before I could feel guilty for having a laugh or going out for a coffee - as if we were supposed to just be home suffering.

2) On the same theme, I was brushing my teeth and it dawned on me that I brushed my teeth before this happened, I will do it during and after it. The trees was standing there before, they stand there now and they will stand there afterwards. As everything else mundane that is going on every day. Nothing changes. I had a sense of another perspective and got deeply calm. I'm going back and forth, but not as intensely and I can work on what stuff is now.

A positive thing is that it has forced me to let go of putting value on things that I held strong before, to open up.

I will just add that we are doing what needs to be done practically for the situation.

Thank you for letting me share and for reading.

6 comments

Nothing changes