My two lowest numbers are Financial stability and Social connections, both sitting at 5, are the exact two currencies that were used to rank me as a child, and they arrived together in one sentence: my grandmother telling my cousins not to play with me because my father's family had money. Money cost me belonging before I was seven. And the sick, barely-surviving feeling hits hardest "when it's bill time" - the one hour of the month when both old wounds open at once.
Four sections in. I've uncovered how my brain works, the identity I've been hiding behind, the beliefs running in the background, and now my biological patterns. One more day.